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It's raining "I miss you"s

The chilling breeze of being without you
took me by surprise
as i regret the moment i first saw you
and the thrilling mystery in your eyes
the light drizzle of missing your touch
the heavy downpour of desperation
the pain hurts twice as much
when it is your own creation
leaving you along with the sun
letting go of what i shoud've done
holding onto a horizon that's breaking
trying to stand my ground while it's quaking
missing you is like a world disaster
time goes slower and my heart goes faster
it's like walking with heels in the snow,
the colder you get, the further you go.
without you, my life's a storm
my body is desperate to be warm
but the harsh weather is knocking me around
the lack of stability forces me to the ground
the touch of winter bliss
reminds me of your spirited kiss
but it also keeps me stinging cold
for your beauty, my eyes can no longer behold

and yes, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
but missing you only makes me colder
and if I don't pay attention to this vicious storm
my body will freeze, thinking it was warm.
every feeling I once had would be numb
I would only feel the nothingness we are set to become
missing you came without warning and hit too fast
and I doubt these emergency generators will continue to last
so if the lights go out,
and i disappear,
only the light you bring
will show me
I'm here.

Author notes

xthinkwhtuwantx

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • jayyniecakes.
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    i rewrote your poem:

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5023317

    what do you think?


  • jayyniecakes.
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    this would have been better if it wasnt so rhyming...

    the rhyming kind of ruins it :/


  • Salty Hibiscus gold member
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    great write. and it rhymes very good. thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.


  • Violinstrings silver member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    relate human emotion to winter and still gave me imagery of winter


  • Guerrero
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I usually feel strength and comfort im the rain. With this piece i can feel the pain and the feelings. This piece has so many emotions. This was so powerful. Thank you for entering im this contest and good luck.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    missing you is like a world diaster
    time goes slower and my heart goes faster

    Fantastic lines here, though i think i typo, 'diaster' i think is supposed to be disaster? Anyway, i can really feel this poem right now . =(
    Thanks for entering.
    Laura.


  • Sunkissed xo
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great write! It's very truthful and heartfelt, and I like how you've used the idea of rain to symbolise love. The last line is great, with the simple words "I'm here", it really ties the whole thing together nicely. This was a delight to read . Thanks for entering the contest.
    - Katelyn ♥

  • JamieLynnJ
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i really liked this one alot, i fear these feelings too!

1 - 11 of 11