Where all my heart is drained and dry
Of faith to cancel out blind fear~
Along dark paths, pray stay close by
Please touch my hand, if You are near.
How grieved, my soul in time's decay
Washed hope aside with doubtful tears~
To soothe disquietude away
Please hold my hand, when You draw here.
If in my mind -all vanity-
Offense becomes love's mutineer ~
Pervade all thought, allowing me
Rest in your hands, for You stay near.
For when my strength in tasks misspent
Where joy will not be engineered~
Then praise will bring replenishment
I lift my hands, for You are here
~*~
Author notes
Faith....
- Rhyme and Meter Workshop group list • next in list
A contest entry
- In the reach of my hand... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended December 15, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Faith, Hope and Charity by Judith Chandler.
950 points, ended December 22, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Disquietude...what a fabulous word! Three applause claps for that word!
This is a very well written poem with nice meter and decent rhyme. It's not easy finding as many rhymes for 'near' as you did. However, since you submitted this as part of the Rhyme & Meter Workshop, I will admit that the third stanza seems a little rough for my palate. In general, I think the second line rubs me the wrong way. It just seemed out of place amidst the other lines. Additonally, the rhyme 'mutineer-You stay near' seems a little forced as does the flow of 'allowing me-Rest in Your hands.' Perhaps its just my mental grammar wanting it to read 'allowing me TO rest in Your hands' but it throws me off a bit. In any case, this is just my humble opinion offered for what it's worth.
On a personal note, as one who's in the midst of a crisis of faith at the moment, your poem touched me in ways other poems of faith haven't. Thanks for that.
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We may believe and trust even in the best of times, and such faith may be just as true as in the worst of times, it's just not being tested.
Faith's quality is revealed only when it is tested. If we believe and sense the presence of the divine even when we are full of fear or grief, of disappointment or a sense of futility in all our endeavors, then faith is proven in us. In such times if we say, "You are here; You are near," we discover that faith may truly sustain us.
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Blindingly beautiful structure. An experience, not just a read, an experience because of its beautiful form, -- of a simple request for support from an individual. This would be no more than that -- just a request -- in free verse. Whoopee, another rhyming poet.
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VERY DEPTHFUL
Wise words, and such a beautiful heart indeed. This was a elligent write my friend. peace be with you.
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Thank you!
Much appreciated. I've not had much time to write lately, and feeling it. Your words give me encouragement find a little time for the pen.
God bless!
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Outstanding
This is a strong poem full of spirituality and faith that has so much depth to it. You really blew me away with this poem. The rhyme is well-chosen and the flow is effortless. This is a well-written poem that teaches us to have faith in God - that he is always here for us. Congratulations on the gold trophy.
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A well worded expression of your belief in these qualities. Nice flow and rhymes.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
Just Beautiful
Wow this is wonderful and congradulations on the Gold. It was very well deserved. I truly enjoyed the emotion and imagery of your beautiful spiritual poem. A prayer poem if you will with wonderful sentiments of God. Thank you for sharing with me.
Many Blessings
Much Love
Kelle Marie
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what a wonderful touch you have given to the words to bring the depth of your soul..love it..well done..and thanks for your entry..
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Thank you very much, sir!
I came into this site a few weeks ago, to jolt the pen again. After posting many older poems, I came across your contest. Your wonderful quote prompted the first real poem I've written in a year.
So many different talents here!
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