Everyone can say “sorry”
After every mistake they make.
They can apologise for the things they can't control,
So instead cause your heart to ache.
A loved one lying in their death bed,
Or a simple bump in the hall,
Some things are a bit too normal in this world,
But to you it may be the last straw.
Even though the comfort they may bring,
Or whatever wrong they may do,
This world is full of apologies,
So "I'm sorry" may mean nothing to you.
I don't know how to react
to the troubles of this world.
Everything that comes at me,
seems like something so much worse than what had happened the day before.
But even though I hear "sorry,"
out of someone's mouth nearly everyday.
Sometimes one sincere apology,
Makes my life seem to be okay.
What did you think
Comments
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I'd like to take a moment to praise this poem, and then I'd like to offer a friendly dose of constructive criticism.
Sometimes I take my eyes off of what originally moved me to write poetry. I remember once, when I was much younger, reading Sympathy by Paul Laurence Dunbar and connecting with it so deeply that it made me cry. I would read the poem over and over. When I was in my bed at night I would whisper the refrain lines; when I was in the bathroom I would perform it for the mirror. It's like I was trying to wring the feeling out of it.
And now, as a twenty-one year old published poet who still has as many fears and insecurities as he used to, I find myself getting absorbed by the idea of writing something that lasts. My poetry becomes technical and cold, and suddenly I realize that I've let my definition of significance become "success" rather than, well, writing a poem that's so brutally real you read it over and over just to wring the feeling out of it
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All of this to say, there's something exceedingly raw about this poem. Lines like "I don't know how to react/to the troubles of this world" strike a chord. And the general tenor of the entire piece reminds me of what I used to love most about good poets - an insatiable need to put inner-conflict on paper. Needless to say, I felt it. Good job.
Here's my constructive input: do some personal homework on meter. If I still taught the class here, I would have asked you to join, but at the moment I don't. If you're fondest of rhyming poetry, then there's no easier way to better yourself and your writing than learning about meter (or "Scansion"). Start by looking up something on "iambs".
Keep writing, poet. The world needs to hear your voice.
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I like this you did a good job on the constructive criticism part the flow could be much better with a little more rhyme to add some rhythm to it, without the rhythm the poem goes off track and the reader starts to loose interest,the moral of this poem was an awesome idea I look forward to more of yours
Lucian"
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