your 5 o'clock shadow stretched overnight
into shade from the sunrise
that peeked through the blinds
we'd forgotten to close last night
after cuddling to the waltz
of the sunset
between colours, laughter
dimpled our bodies
& folded your hands
around mine in a half-moon
that warmed like sunlight
as we hesitated; breaths became
rehearsed steps that needed practice
to synchronize
the way your lips pulsed
from our locked hands
to slide along my collarbone
like the conversation that danced
from my eyes to your eyebrows
into twilight.
i still smelled of you
when morning poured through the blinds,
trying to pull me
out of your arms & into its own grasp;
the metronome of your snores
played with the coffee in the air
that you still had yet to make
& the waves of your alarm
that need not have woken me at 6am
on a Saturday.
my fingers trickled from your torso
to turn off your alarm
& i tore my body from yours
so i could turn the sunlight away -
your eyelids folded & unfolded;
this time, i kissed you back
to sleep.
Author notes
*sighs* wow, I'm glad that's over. that was harder than I thought it would be. I haven't written in English in over 3 months, so this probably sucked, sorry.
A contest entry
- the emotional rounds - 1 by Ryno.
400 points, ended December 26, 2008, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
This is sensual in a warm and loving way . . . lovers cheek to cheek, hip to hip, contoured to one another, breathing the same breath, no different flesh. Two become one the way people do, each filling some empty place in the other that no one else can see.
I agree with The Fun House, you are a brilliant writer. You show the reader your world through your eyes and for a time the reader is not who they are . . . they are you. That is your talent and what most grabs me about your writing. You help me live another life . . . for a moment anyway . . . and somehow that new perspective makes me see things in my own life that I didn't know were there. Thank you for that.
Outstanding. It is not often someone can touch this old jaded heart. Well done.
Garrison

-
And will you stop saying that your poem suck! You know better than that
NEVER put yourself down you are a brilliant writer and that's just so not cool.
-
"the metronome of your snores"! Now that is the nicest thing I've ever heard about someone's snoring
This is a brilliant piece of work Christina. The imagery is just top notch and it is so romantic and beautiful that I actually teared up and smiled (that's something). Awesome job young lady


-
Your images were powerful and the similes/metaphors did wonders in portraying the emotion!
Some parts felt a little cutesy - but then the second half put the actual depth and carved the power and meaning of your emotion in this piece... it was actually really affective.
Thank-you for the entry
-
This did NOT suck. It was really cute. I love the complex metaphors used to tell a simple, sweet love story. Very nice!
Good luck in the contest!

1 - 5 of 5




