Dost humanity's God abandon thee?
To wit, not the slightest whimper of sound
falling apple, from universal tree.
Such is mother earths boosom, destined bound.
For granted taken, this harvest of life
unheeded nature signals, its distress.
Man’s aspiring virus, greed taken as wife.
Can earth suffer these arrows, under duress?
A hymn of lament, dost thou mistrals play
such as this, be our end, our follies repent?
Heavenly orchestra shall mourn today
our journey into hells fiery descent.
For are we not, but a drop, in heavenly sea?
Star-stuff set adrift, from universal tree?
Author notes
Prompt:The Rape Of Earth
In a list
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- Soulful/Spiritual • next in list
- Silver • next in list
- Apocalypse • next in list
A contest entry
- RHYME ONLY. Syllable Count Perfect by Vintage Chiffon.
595 points, ended July 16, 2009, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sonnet Contest! by KnightOfTheRose.
550 points, ended December 25, 2009, 30 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow. I really liked the way this poem was written. The picture was amazing too
Thank you for taking the time to enter. Excellent work and I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
-Steve- -
Thank you for sharing your wonderful poem
You have made it to the finals
I am going to take some time and re-read in depth
with a score of my own (and for myself to see)
On where everyone should be based at and placed.
-Damien
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This is a very great poem. I like this very much
Thank you very much for entering this into my contest
and I wish you the best of luck
Damien
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Interesting.
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this was really good! i enjoyed reading this. awesome!!! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Interesting... but the rhythym is really too irregular for this to rank as a strict-form Shakespearean sonnet - which is what this competition specified.
But please do not remove it from the competition yet... there will be some points for you if you let it remain.
By the way, I find your concept of the "universal tree" producing apples an interesting conflation of the World-Ash Yggdrasil and the Biblical "Tree of Knowledge". -
yes, definatly a sad ending of the earth. I like the 'universal tree' metaphor, very nice.
thanks so much for entering!
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nice, i really like this stanza- For granted taken, this harvest of life
unheeded nature signals, its distress.
Man’s aspiring virus, greed taken as wife.
Can earth suffer these arrows, under duress?
only found one thing and i don't know if what i'm saying is right or not, but whimppering, is it two m's or 2 p's? i thought it was whimmpering but i might be wrong. thanks for entering -
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Since my spell check is non existent on my PC, I used my on line dictionary and guess what? We were both wrong "Whimpering" One "M" and One "P" But thank you for calling it to my attention.
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lol well glad you got it figured out
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This is also well written. Where do you find these pictures? Goodluck!
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erm, its good although there are some interesting spelling mistakes. Also I will need you to put which poet its in the style of (other than shakespeare seeing as he wasn't one of the options) in the author notes because its not obvious. Other than that there is some impressive imagery and interesting use of language.
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This may be very good of it’s sort but it’s not the sort I am looking for in this contest. You may remove this one and enter another if you like.
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Hello Bill,I'm really not quite sure about this piece. I feel that the poem got bogged down under all "Ye olde English" which isn't neccessary in a Shakespearean sonnet, however iambic pentameter is a neccessity and I'm afraid that is lacking in your poem. I am so sorry for being so picky, I would love to be more positive. Val
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Hi, if you could sort out the iambic pentameter this could be an interesting sonnet, be careful how you use thee,thou,etc not good mixed in with modern verse.lol, kind regards Di
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For granted taken, this harvest of life...
Indeed it has been. True thoughts to this prompt in form.
~Pamela 
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This is wonderful and I totaly loved reading...
So very well done and my head is spinning or I would write so much more...
Simon
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