i.
I’m stuck between metaphors
and poetry that’s much too big
for me, loose-fitting like my
size extra-large sweaters that
I use to hide my thoughts and
tears.
and I’m trapped there, with no
return to the way things once
were with small talk and petite
clothes.
ii.
the matches are broken
cleanly in half and you
no longer burn dead leaves
for fun. instead your new life
is filled with lighters in every
jean-pocket and you carry little
plastic bags filled with weed.
there’s no return for you either,
you’re stuck in an addicting habit
that you say keeps you sane, but I
know that you just hate thinking
about the past and the relaxed
feeling you get keeps your mind
from working too hard and thinking
too much about what I did.
iii.
it’s you and me, baby.
we were both disasters waiting to happen,
but being together prolonged our fates and
when we broke up I turned to extra large
clothes and away from food, while you turned
to the drugs and the mind relaxants.
it’s been three months since I’ve eaten
anything but my one calorie filled diet coke,
and three months since you’ve been able to
think clearly. we’re both headed for ruin with
nothing to stop it, except for ourselves.
iv.
you’re already beginning to lose the honey
I said coated your every word, and I’m
beginning to attract the stinging bees.
they are cutting up my already plastic
and faded skin into nothing less than
the plastic bags you use to carry around
your new chosen life.
at least we can fade together.
Author notes
i. me
ii. him
iii. us seperated
iv. us destroyed together
--
ap name: mesmerized--x
In a list
A contest entry
- abstract/imagery/metaphor by sideways hourglass.
550 points, ended December 21, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - with the abstract in mind.. by The-Phoenix.
900 points, ended January 10, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Really loved the first couple of stanza's, I did feel it dragged on a bit but this is beautiful in a very simple way.
Thank you for entering.
-
I’m stuck between metaphors
and poetry that’s much too big
for me, loose-fitting like my
size extra-large sweaters that
I use to hide my thoughts and
tears.
you’re already beginning to lose the honey
I said coated your every word, and I’m
beginning to attract the stinging bees.
they are cutting up my already plastic
and faded skin into nothing less than
the plastic bags you use to carry around
your new chosen life.
ooooooh.
I love. -
well, i am sure happy you gave my contest a try; whether you win or lose. This is full of emotion - and that is what makes this poem so rich. The imagery didn't take my breath away, or totally blow me out of the water, but still this was very good. It's different from the others, so regardless of how this does in the contest, it did stand out, and it was definitely a good stand out. Thanks for sharing your poetry.
-
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thanks for the hm, and the invite to your rounds contest
-
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"to big" --> "too big"
"you’re stuck in an addicting habit
that you say keeps you sane, but I
know that you just hate thinking
about the past and the relaxed
feeling you get keeps your mind
from working too hard"
^ this is so sad
"they are cutting up my already plastic
and faded skin into nothing less than
the plastic bags you use to carry around
your new chosen life.
at least we can fade together."
^ this is so bittersweet, and this metaphor is wonderful, it's genius, it ties the two of you together, even though you are apart.
I hate boys XD
Shelly
x
-
kinda cool
:]
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