the sun has melted into earth
music jingling across the wind
my horse is leaping in it's constraints
colors dance against the mirrors
smiles gather in celebration
my heart is in history
repeating sorrow into circles
the man that should have
his eyes glued on me has gone
as my mother stands alone.
Author notes
I used carousels. I wrote it and then remembered I was supposed to be counting my words, and I ended up with 68, I think. I tried to figure out what to take out but I couldn't. I can go ahead and take this out of the contest, if you like. It just didn't feel comfortable to take the extra words out. Sorry.
-- Okay, I took some out but I could only go down to 53, here was the original:
the sun has melted into the earth
the music still jingling across the wind
my horse is leaping in it's constraints
blind and brilliant
the colors dance against the mirrors
and smiles gather in celebration
of childhood, and my heart is in history
repeating sorrow into these dizzy circles
wondering where the man that should have
his eyes glued on me has gone
as my mother stands alone.
A contest entry
- and it's another prompt inspired quickie :):) by yellow blue bus.
625 points, ended January 8, 2009, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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since you went over the word count you can't place.
but i did like this poem, the imagery is very nice, especially in the beginning.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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