Mary waiting in the manger
Surrounded by animals and it might get stranger
Awaiting the birth of the baby
Could things go more wrong? Maybe
No space in the inn the manger is all that is left
Sometimes it is hard being so bereft
Soon the birthing will start
More life joining the world so take heart
A contest entry
- The Virgin Mary by Violinstrings.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I do hope I didn't bother anyone with my poem. To be entirely honest when I write poems I blank my mind and let whatever comes out happen. I read it, make sure it rhymes (It doesn't feel complete to me if it doesn't, not sure why) then move it from there. Also to be more honest, I've been neglecting going to church so the gospel (and its many forms thereof) are getting fuzzy in my head.
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The manger is a feeding area for the animals. Hay would be placed in the manger so the animals could eat.Mary and Joseph used the manger as a sort of bassinet or crib for Jesus once He was born. Mary and Joseph were in the "barn" or cave where the innkeeper kept his farm animals.
Mary labored "near" the manger
First line, second stanza: "barn" or "cave" instead of manger, perhaps?
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Mary IN(??????) the manger.
Well, I suppose if it was used for feeding a large number of animals, it might have been big enough for Her to get into it... But I have to say that it hardly accords with what we know of birthing customs in the Middle East at that time (and indeed for centuries afterwards) - and also the Mosaic/Rabbinic regulations about childbirth.
Moreover, this goes not agree with the Gospel reference (St Luke, Ch,1, v 7) says that "She laid HIm in the manger". This implies that She herself was NOT in the manger. I have checked with the Greek text, and the construction used (pronoun "en" + accusative case "te phatne") seems to me clearly to signify "place INTO which", not "place IN whch").
Of course, at the level of poetry and art, one may interpret the story in whichever way seems most fitting to the poet and artist.
But the traditional interpretations of the Nativity scene all have Her beside the manger - either kneeling - as has become traditional in Western art, or, as in Byzantine tradition, reclining beside it.
And, though you are writing about the final hours - or minutes - of waiting, the idea of Her spending that time IN the manger itself seems very awkward to me.
Particularly as I can see no reason - symbolic or artistic - for making the change. Was it perhaps, simply so that you could rhyme "Manger" with "stranger"?
I wonder if anyone else has this problem... If so, you might consider changing the first line to "Mary waiting BY the manger".
I am sorry if this seems overly carping. But I do feel that if one is going to introduce innovations into something as well-known and well-loved as the Nativity story, one should be very circumspect - particularly if it is going to clash with what the Gospel account says or implies.
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an original idea
it does mention her feelings in a good way
the idea of the manger is well done
animals in the manger
no space in manger
good words
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