fall free from simple pleasures
cast in violent seas
but you never believe
when i say it's alright
the tide begins to change
but you remain the same
you'd rather hide; alone amongst the waves
cast away in tides
you lose yourself in skies
trapped in passed regrets
with nowhere left to go
is there anybody home?
simplicity, like silent movies
brought you to your knees
when grass was green like trees
on a distant shore
i can't watch you die
as the waves pass idly by
just sit
just wait
free from
all your fears
this time
i swear
i will be there
drown away in rain ripped from your heart
stolen sweetly from
someone else's love
the clouds begin to break
leaving only sun
there's no more need to run
on a beach of glass, your shards blend in
but still they cut your feet
best just leave it be
can you feel the waves?
an ocean lullaby
to kiss you goodnight
just sit
just wait
free from
all your fears
this time
i swear
I will be there
don't cry
don't cry
you don't deserve this
don't cry
don't cry
you will forget this
Author notes
www.bandmix.com/eojrepus for a rough demo
A contest entry
- 203;203;203;203 ;203;203;&# 8203;​ ;;​;​ by xxlisajazminexx.
780 points, ended December 26, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songs/Lyrics Options by albinoblacksheep720.
700 points, ended January 24, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♪♫Write me a Song♪♫ [EASY POINTS] by The Molt.
400 points, ended February 17, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i think its great i love it, good job
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No offense, but you sing almost as bad as I do!
That aside, I love it!
It's so moving.
So touching.
So catchy.
I also love the album name "Just Smile."
It's all so perfect!
But, please promise me, if you don't already have one, find a different singer!
Please! Other than that, it's really good. -
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I don't think he sings that badly!
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I like it.
It's not quite my style, but I could easily get used to your medaphorical sense.
My faourite line, "Simplicity, like silent movies"
I just feel your whole of the song brings me in.
Cleanup:
The stanzes themselves are amazing, but they don't work well in the place they are in. There is a sort of choppiness to the flow. Maybe changing the order in which they are sung will help this.
Also, I couldn't find the song file. Help? Please?
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Would surely make for a good song.
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This could have a couple great melodies. Good flow, I like it. Reminds me of like a Our Lady Peace / Avril Lavigne combo, if that is possible. Not to say I would enjoy music from that combo, but your lyrics are great.
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Awww!! I love the repetion at the end of the two shorter stanzas and then the 'don't cry' was almost begging. I heard her hurt and yours here. Touching.
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I love the imagery in this, very lovely and beautiful.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
you wrote ANOTHER one for me?
now DARLING you really need to stop flaunting me around!
ppl might get the wrong idea
rofl
seriously though, flowed like a song. Is that what it's gonna be? It was awesome. well done!
xoxo
gypsy
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