I want my life to end tonight
On a dark stage
With only a dusty spotlight
To let the audience see
I want to hear my final note
Played by an orchestra of
Forty nine hundred and ninety-eight people
One for each day
They’re all wearing black so
They can go straight to the funeral
After the show
There has to be a violin solo
As a lover slowly takes a knife to my waist
With one hand
The notes are high
When the blood is first drawn
And the notes are low
When I moan in pleasure
Because my lover kisses me
And my blood
As he works
Another violinist joins in
When My lover uses his other hand
To caress me gently in
All the right places
You can hear a cello in the background
It sets the mood for deep passion
The flutes sound like cries
Twisted with pain
And pleasure
Or perhaps there are no flutes
Just cries
Xylophones are played quickly
Each time the mallet strikes
So does the knife and more blood is drawn
The tension is in the air
The drums beat faster
And so does my heart
For the moment
Clarinets can be heard
I think
They sound so soft
Just like the whispered
“I love you”
I want it now
The audience has reached
A dangerous excitement
At the ecstasy on the stage
The orchestra plays faster and louder
Not louder then me with my cries of joy
Until my cries are silenced
With that violin again
The orchestra puts down their instruments
To hear a talk about me
I loved music so much
Violins most of all
The violinist hides her smile
I loved the stage
And it loved me to death
No one weeps for real
But the tears fall
Just for the show
They close the curtain
And the coffin
Thunderous applause shakes the stage
Just for opening night
And I can’t bow
Or thank you all
For coming to my show
-Pet
Author notes
I'm seriously proud of this one. Sorry its so long, I couldn't held myself. You know, parts of this could pass for a dirty mindedness test...and several people failed.
hey, redhanded...tis option 49...in a way part option 46, you could call this a circus act though I was thinking broadway
"She ricochets and you don't notice"
G i o v a n n a C o r v i s
A contest entry
- The most options I have ever seen.XF by redhanded.
1079 points, ended December 19, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sadistic Intent by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1200 points, ended January 6, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me something. by morgana raven.
900 points, ended December 30, 2008, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - making you scream by snakeprincess742.
400 points, ended February 12, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best!! by DramaQueen469.
2000 points, ended June 8, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkwrite by darkyinsoul.
550 points, ended July 16, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
GOT comments??
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Thank you for entering our contest
Good luck to you
Darky
-
Wow. Just... wow. This was stunning.
Thankyou so much for entering, and I wish you the best of luck!
Maria
-
we my have a winwe! lol jkin i donno but yourl sure be a finlist with that ine good work-hugs-
-
-
*Hugs back* Thankies!!
-
-
The ending is fabulous.
thanks for entering.
Laura. -
-
thanks much so!!
-
-
Wow. This was definitely "out of the box" thinking. I loved it- most people shy away from this kind of intensity, opt for something more shy and demure, but you dove right in.
Amazing.
-
-
Yeah *guilty grin* I'm known for that! I learned a long time ago that if I let other people's reactions tone down my writing then my writing would be awful...and of course when I first saw the horrified expressions I found it immensely entertaining XDD
-
-
*laughs* I think we might be mental twins separated at birth
-
-
hehe...it is a high possibility
If thats the case then you might want to get to know my other mental twin...she's just like me
hmm...I'm thinking about adding you rto my AP family...I need a twin (deanna isnt on here)
-
-
-
-
THIS
was AMAZING! Has to be the most unique poem i have read on this site. Beautifully and passionatly written.....brutally romantic indeed. Thanks so much for your entry and you have A LOT to be proud of. This came out wonderfully
-
I loved this write! the flow is marvelous and the intensity in this piece keeps building up to the very end. had me on the edge of my seat the whole time! well pen'd if you could please however place your option number in your author notes.I would hate to DQ a piece I loved as much as this. thanks so much for your entry. best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded) -
whoa, this was just... woah. I loved it. it was very deep and, well you just did an amazing job. ^.^ i'm speechless. and i agree it some of it could pass for a dirty test. very good job. :]
-
-
Thank you, and thank you for the applause!!
So, tell me, did you pass or fail the dirty mindedness test?? ^-^
-Pet-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
