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Sailing, Soaring, Snowflakes Roaring

Well,

now that the grade-school title drew you in, I’ll have to produce something semi-profound…

 

ahem… (gathering shards of profundity from centuries of recorded and forgotten wisdom)…

 

 

 

In a private conversation

driving down a country road

transformed to a city street

in a first-rate country, but

 

then, life is far too finite, fleeting

to accurately measure thus,

we must place our trust in something… so…

 

Sailing, soaring, snowflakes roaring

on a summer Saturday

experts said it could not be

pundits at length gossiping

on the now-this-just-in story

painting things in grandeur, glory

telling us to trust in that

which cannot be… and thus I say:

 

whether we admit defeat

in understanding things complete

or not, we have but one decision

guiding our one want and wisdom-

shall we turn upon the road

we’ll navigate with trust alone?

 

 


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Author notes

any notes: nada

Wait a minute, yes- an additional piece of profundity: Now I've deduced that the grade school title will attract the young and simple minded, and repulse those fervently striving for sophistication in order to impress one another, while the poem itself turns around and presents the sophisticated, losing those that the title pulled in;

therefore I've concluded that this piece will lose both audiences (meaning, everyone!) (i.e. the sophisticated who are not drawn in by the title, and those seeking a light read who are drawn in and then finding themselves chewing on beef jerky rather than gumdrops)...

In a list

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Denerica silver member
    December 27, 2008
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    Definately profound and nothing wrong with making someone think or even retaliate...brilliant.


    • wbiro gold member
      December 27, 2008
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      thanks- to be entertaining while offering a profound kick in the teeth- now there is something to strive for... lol


  • Haygood gold member
    December 21, 2008

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    What the heck did he say anyway??? This is either too deep to understand or too shallow too dig...you dig. You said awhole lot about nothing or a little something about a whole lot of...never mind...what did you say? You said it very well!!!


    • wbiro gold member
      December 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      maybe yours was the response I was looking for... I guess I could go back and analyze it- it was more of a stream... maybe I should, for my own psychoanalytical benefit... lol

      The first line was my disgusted reaction to 'private conversations' when others are present... (I was looking at it in the chatterbox lol)

      the next three lines create an abstract environment...

      the second stanza takes issue with the "first-rate" notion presented at the end of the first stanza, since so much in life is subjective; then the stanza delves into the phenomenon of our "accepting" the view and opinions of others based on trust, including notions of what is "first-rate", often sold to us subjectively...

      the third stanza, in an abstract way, demonstrates how those we trust can be unreliable... hence the snowflakes on a summer Saturday...

      the fourth stanza tries to wrap up all the philosophizing in a Robert Frostian sort of way, since my piece began on a road (such as the road not taken) (but my focus being a road we must trust), ending with the road would be a good way to wrap the piece up, after all, this is a semi-rhyme-and-meter piece... and I do love great catchy wrap-up endings...

  • BHolzner gold member
    December 19, 2008

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    Bravo!

    The guiding thought of this poem is that of silence. A world of make believe because if we saw what is real we would be shocked. We would not know what to do if a grenade came tumbling across the floor. So what would we do? We would pretend it does not exist. Just like a snowflake in the middle of summer. To hear it roaring past us...no it does not exist because it just can't. A world of illusion is why we can not see beyond our own car windows or trust our own thoughts.
    Bravo!
    Betsy Holzner


    • wbiro gold member
      December 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I think what you saw in the poem is more fascinating than the poem itself...! thanks...

1 - 6 of 6