Running through the woods
Running out of breath
pausing and whirling around
are they still there
have I lost them
Feeling alone at last
I take a breath
crying, shaking
reverting back
mummy where did I go wrong
daddy when did i stop being your little girl
when did i decide not to listen
when did i stray from this path
mummy he killed you right there
daddy he threw you a thousand feet
brother he slit you then took your wife
why didnt I see this Why didnt I know
Gasping for another breath
it doesn't seem to be coming
curling up in the fallen leaves
ignoring the cold wet mud around
My love, my savior
why oh why did you have to do this
this was supposed to be our day
this was the day it was supposed to change
Remember the white house in the country
our kid on the way
now just a bloody stain
where she use to lie
oh god oh god
you ripped it from me
you took it all
but why didn't you take me.
Author notes
2nd take on the picture prompt.
A contest entry
- May I Prompt You? IX - Broken Hopes by Manda Kathryn.
1000 points, ended December 19, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what ya think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wowzers ~
Dark, sharp and painfully raw this is gripping and incredible to read
♥
Thank You & Best of Luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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Oh my
This is a dark write indeed but you penned it with a story line of how sometimes life can hit us straight on without warning .Good write here
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Excellent
You did a fabulous job on the is dark poem. Oh my it made me cry. The imagery is fantastice and the flow with a story to it is just so sad. There she is and Oh God, Oh God why didn't you take me too. The flow and rhythem is perfect I thought. Best wishes in the contest, for you should do very well.
Well I could relate to this poem in a small way but in a emotional way totally that is for sure. Your poem is much sadder then my reality of a poem. I can't even imagine something like this but it does happen. It is so sad when we lose a loved one then to lose everyone. Just losing one child I just wanted to die myself. The emotions are excellent also in your poem. You created a masterpiece. Thank you for sharing with me.
Blessings
Much Love
Kelle Marie
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:)
Wow thanks that means alot to me, Sometimes I dont think I have it quite there when I write the dark stuff but it seems that i do .
Thanks for reading and commenting and I am sorry to hear that, I guess when I write it is much closer to someone else without realization.
Thanks alot
xx
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Amazing write, fab use of emotion used.
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Hey
Thanks for commenting.
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