As blood slips from the eyes of the dieing,
And the living beg for pain;
As the warm radiance of the setting sun,
Breaks through the joyful sorrow of the rain…
We shall find within ourselves,
The truth of our own lives;
That the only ones who do not fail,
Are the ones who do not try;
That Perseverance is nothing more,
Than failure multiplied;
That we let ourselves be judged,
Though at our end ,
It is we who must decide…
Who and what we truly are,
If we are strong enough to die,
Or seek our immortality
For fear of what our gods will see,
Or what we, ourselves will find…
In the last breathes that fill our lungs,
What thoughts shall fill our minds;
That in the nothingness of eternity,
We shall float, eternally lonely,
Or shall the structures of our beliefs be what we find…
Shall our last moments be positive,
Filled with notions of joy and peace…
Or will negativity find its place,
Filling mere seconds with agony that does not cease…
Do we have affect upon these possibilities?
I’m sure I do, do you?
For life is merely a formality of society,
In which only the living have broken the rules…
A contest entry
- I Just Love Fantastic Titles by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comment truthfully please
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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whoa
man i loved it. i like the ryhming i dont like too much of it but its good and i could just tell by reading it would pop up
this is a very good thought and rly i dont know what will be going thru my mind in my last moments but anyways im not sure about the title so much im not completely confident that the title goes with it but maybe its just me
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This totally turned me on...an awesome poem
*walks closer to you untill were're face to face....looks at your mouth then looks at your eyes...whispers into your ear " this was an awesome poem...you really know how to write...walks away in the ending eternity mist"
LOL! JK! Or am I....
NE-WAY...nice poem...
xoxo,
Azura
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OMFG
man that was intense..... the last stanza was out there, i liked how you asked the question "Do we have... possibilities?" that is a question i dont think i can answer. there was nothing i didnt like... -
makes me think
makes me think, this could of had a better ending. -
nice poem good write
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Ok ... this pretty much kicked ass there were some rough spots but hell the message and build up were impeccable
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o.o
another great write
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i really like this!
this is really better than some of you others
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Thank you for your entry, it went a touch above my head somehow, but I appreciate you sharing
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this is a great one. awesome poem man.
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amazing as always, keep it up bro
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omg anubis this poem was amazing! the emotion in this was so heartfelt, and it took my breath away just reading this. i agree with what jake said; it really makes you think about things. keep up the good work!
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And, as always, I adore your work. This opened new doors for me, made me think. It in a way, opened my very eyes. I'm glad I took the time to read this. Your flow was, as usual, smooth and perfect. Wording was elegant. I like it, very much.
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dude, i really liked this. really makes you think about things. like things you need to get off your shoulders. and what you want people to know before youre truly gone. deep as hell. kinda hits home for me. very good write.
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WOW, very deep, very very thought provoking, well written flow wise, intelligent but most of all spot on.
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