Young ones looking for a romance
In every place they can reach
Dreaming of what they want so much
Riches overflowing
A love that never dies
And living with no regrets
With all these dreams
The temptations are high
And Satan knows
His profit is in
Riches overflowing
Love that never dies
And ignorance
So let them keep on dreaming
Let them wish away
For their souls will waste
And hell is all they pay for
Riches overflowing
Love that never dies
And never knowing they were wrong
Author notes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVy2LkHdrqU
A contest entry
- What's On My Ipod by Cannonsfire.
1750 points, ended December 23, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Give me the truth.
Comments
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wonderful my dear! simply and utterly wonderful!
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Well this is a fairly strong write here for the prompt song, which happens to be a fav off the new Killers album. I think you could probably revisit and cut down some of the filler words like 'and' and perhaps tidy it up with lessening the use of the gerunds (ing words) it tightens a piece to only use them sparingly. That exit line I think would have more impact to stand alone with a space. As a pause for the reader to think over. I do enjoy this one as it has good pace throughout. Feel free to edit and thank you for following the rules with the link
C
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Good luck your song is DUSTLAND FAIRYTALE - KILLERS
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