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Do-Over.

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
It is the most effective poison, for it works slowly, using time to its full potential.
Regret is the true killer.
No one can escape it and it haunts you no matter how hard you try...

Three years gone - lost to pride and the pain of being replaced
(or so I thought)
now the air fills up with the promise of starting over, but no words can gloss over
the bitterness that I wear like a thick winter coat.

I miss you and I can't bear it but I know we can't just pick up
even though we've shed tears and drowned the other in "I'm sorry".
We're getting further apart as the days pass and I'm too ashamed to try.
Give me your hand and let me know that we can ya-ya again, that there still is a chance.
That you won't let me fade away when you're caught up in your Footloose daydream.
(my life and scrapbook seem so empty without you)
Don't let distance kill us, and help me tear down the wall that I foolishly built
just so you couldn't hurt me again.
(I hate being left behind, especially after I invested so much of my life in you)
We need a do-over...

Forgive and forget?
If not for me, do it for Jonah - Him and that cruise ship are what binds us together in the first place
Tis the season, and it must be getting to me...
Have you any room?

Author notes

For BZ - I'm hurtin' without you, daisyhead. Come back & reclaim what we lost crazy girl

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Comments

  • Wow. As always I'm blown away by your writing. Very good craftsmenship. I esp. loved the last line: "Tis the season, and it must be getting to me...Have you any room?" Great subliminal Christmas message (intentional or not). Hopefully things have been worked out btwn. you and this person. It's sad to see friendships drift apart, esp. when it's concerning unfortunate circumstances. But knowing you, I'm sure things are worked out. Talk to you later.

  • jkh
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AS always, a gripping write. When is your next book of poems being published? You've yet to be able to sign the copy of your first one. I love how you capture the emotion your feeling in your writing.


  • Vorondwen gold member
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Laughter and Tears...like forever

    You have no idea how much I miss everything we had. All it took was lack of communication to ease the both of us when this was all going down...whatever "this" was. WAS. Why do we selfishly allow ourselves to live in the past. I suppose my own fears were based more on that you "suddenly" showed up when I got engaged and that you didn't actually want to be my friend, just involved and then disappear again. I also felt that despite you're declarations of love for your own relationship, I could still feel the bitter cold of jealousy. This fear is mixed up with other fears from my past, which put it in the "leave it be and move on" pile. It was not with intent to hurt you, but to preserve my own feelings and sanity because I was left alone on my own for so long, struggling to have people see what I see in KB, and fighting against people feeding my family lies and bitter assumptions about him. It's been nearly a 3 year battle, because it was this time 3 years ago that my life was slowly turning to shit and I didn't even see it coming. I was too busy with one little battle after another that I didn't realize a full blown war was swirling like storm clouds like a tornado forming to rip my life to pieces...holy shit. That poem I wrote all those years ago finally revealed it's meaning. Ok, I need to shut up. Simply put...I really do want us to be like we used to be. You're coming to the open house, right? I love you and miss you. Let's get you home and start off with some holiday cheer.

    By the way...well written poem. I could really feel the emotion put into this peice and how you want the other person to respond. Did she? lol