If your heart does not fill to the brim
And then over flow with love
Do not ask me to be friend
If your eyes seek out flaws without
Embracing them with love
Do not ask me to be friend
If your tongue is mostly sugar coated
That lies become truths
Do not ask me to be friend
If your nostrils only smell out trouble
To then becomes toxic
Do not ask me to be friend
If your ears can just hear your voice
Never a falling tear drop
Do not ask me to be friend
If your hands only open up to receive
Which has not been earned
Do not ask me to be friend
If your feet’s heels are always showing
While looking towards my face
Do not ask me to be friend
Marriage is a only contract written on paper
It is easy to dissolve all its black inked words
To then only becoming a division of property
Ask any lawyer
Friendship is a promise woven into the heart
Break any silken woven strands of its thread
It is easy to rejoin as shared love is never lost
Ask any "true" friend
A contest entry
- I don't know what to think anymore. by ninja girl 418.
850 points, ended December 30, 2008, 46 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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needs editing
There are many parts of this poem that are incoherent
and need editing."if your nostrils only smell out trouble to then become toxic" does not make sense
"If your feet's heels are always showing while looking towards my face"is also devoid of meaning.
The continuous "Do not ask me to be friend" occupies
about a third of the poem, it is difficult to understand how these were overlooked when judging. -
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Well one has to think outside the square sometimes when they read poems....
!/ does not the saying go... I can smell trouble.....
2/ if ones heels are facing one does it not tell one that they have their back to the other... in part saying they will look at you (face) but rather be walking away from you (heels)
3/ why question the judges "overlooked", is it not ones own interpretation like/dislike of what they read, to read it as to how they feel about what is written...
4/ it can be tidied up some, but someone thought well of it to give it a silver...
5/ the do not ask me to be friend, i will let you work that out, it was just a listing of why some are not friends....
Any how thanks for the comment...
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