Close your eyes and feel my skin
Softly touching yours
Run your fingers through my hair
It's where it all begins
My lips are yours to kiss
Be gentle with your touch
My body is your playground
It’s me you can’t resist.
The secrets of my heart
Are there for you to seek
Hold me tight against you
Breathing becomes in sync
Let this playground guide you
To the places you should go
Kiss my neck so sweetly
Our worries to be few
I need to fix it, but here it is. Tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i think its fine just as it stands, i think it is soft , sensual and a very good read
thank yo ufor sharin gthis with us and keep up the good work *hugh*
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great
very nice - i'm a rhymer so the rhyme could use a little tweaking - keep on keeping on - Joe - (Dobar Dan) --------------------------------------------------------- lovely poem
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I like it a lot
I can tell this is heart felt.
It may need tinkering though. I wonder if it would be better written in Free verse. Just a thought.
I do like it but since you said you need to fix it, I put in my 2 cents.
Richard
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Strong, and full of desire!!
It is a beautiful and very romantic piece of poem.
I liked the emotions and the eroticism you put to it.
Thanks for sharing it with us
Cheers,
Fay
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A beautiful and romantically loving poem, filled with emotion and love. So soft, delicate with the hint of eroticism.
I'm afraid I couldn't help it. When I came to the end, I found that in my mind, I continued on with your poem till its logical conclusion.
A Beautifully penned poem of Love!!
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i personally love this poem i view u as a great writer, i like this poem cause of the emotion in it, good job and keep up the good work.
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Such a gentle and heartfelt love poem. I have a soft spot for these types of writes. Well done!
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Dynamite!
I don't usually judge free verse because I don't understand it...but this is good. I miss the rhyme at the end, but it's good. One thing... 1st stanza last line read it as "It's where it all begins" and see what you think. Seems like a hiccup there. I like.
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This is a strong, emotional poem, I love the 'body is your playground' bit, IMO that is the strongest line and the most sensual. In the third stanza I feel the last two lines do not mesh well with the rest of the poem and also I do not like the last stanza 'becomes'? doesn't sound too good to me. But it's so strong at the start and really powerful in a sensuous way. I hope you don't take me crit as dissing, I hope I'm showing you where IMO the weakness is. This is be an outstanding poem when you're finished with it.
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SUCH LOVE AND PASSION!!!
That is truly a specia feeling which many cannot feel in todays world.
's
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