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Love

 

 

Love,
Sneaks up from behind your mind.
Enters with ease your forbidden territories.
Slithers among your thoughts
And gives birth to a distractive emotion
In your backbone.

Love,
Is denied yet is welcomed to roam
Our visual being, the subconscious.
Reminding us of just one thing:
Wanting to be there, somewhere unknown
Where another treasured soul is.

Love,
Makes lungs plead for air &
Steals all the words we crave.
It swallows time so fast when we're
In the company of golden people.

Love,
Sends shivers down your body
Making you tremble uncontrollably.
It becomes your lord and you its slave
Yet, it’s a generous master.

Love,
Makes you do stupid things
Childish behaviors, singing with wet throats
Naked in mid of winter.

Love,
Steals your sanity and makes the sun
Shines at night when two lips, touch
In an eternal hug, each other.

 

 

Yet love,
Is a two faced creature:
One is a monster greedily desiring hurt.
The other is an angel that's obsessed
With planting flowers.

 

So beware! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(C) Noor 12/12/2008 

Author notes

Contest prompt:
give me your best poem, that you think, will make me feel: in love.

Pic cred: "Love" by arlek-in @ Deviantart.com

 

Meh! I tried.

 

Thanks for reading! 

In a list

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • mcope8050
    July 26

    Edit | Reply

    i'm glad you linked me to this one

    i feel lucky to have this come my way today,,, i try to read ALL your additions here on AP,,, and know i've missed some,,, this being one of them ,,, glad to have had the chance to experience this one

    Love,
    Sends shivers down your body
    Making you tremble uncontrollably.
    It becomes your lord and you its slave
    Yet, it’s a generous master.


    this is GREAT,,, 'A generous master' indeed,,, and the ending?



    Yet love,
    Is a two faced creature:
    One is a monster greedily desiring hurt.
    The other is an angel that's obsessed
    With planting flowers.



    So beware!


    very much enjoyed,,,MICHAEL

    (I can't wait to read it in Arabic)



  • Ryno
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think the concept behind the ending of the piece was really brilliant, but I felt it needs to be worded stronger... the "planting flowers" and "desiring hurt" just didn't click as strong, or have show "love" to me.

    Each image in this piece was brilliant - you really described what the emotion was like for yourself, as best you could and really left space for the reader to try to explore it too.

    The format was a little too "listy" for my test, I think it would've been better if each individual image progressed into each other, instead of just appearing like a bunch of little poems.

    Still, fantastically well written. Thanks for the entry.


  • Justin Stone
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In to many areas the poem falls away from e thflow and reminds of a sort of prose, to the point where I lose interest. I tried to work with it on an emotional scale, as well as mental but failed to make connection on either.


  • Crista64
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Try this poem I made My Edward and my favorite part of it was that you said "Love makes you do stupid things" this is how I feel now in love what the poem says.


  • Alive4aLiving
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love,
    Sends shivers down your body
    Making you tremble uncontrollably.


    Iv'e known this kind of love,. have this kind of love, and now more then ever do i nottice that the laststanza is true, no matter how much I want to say otherwise, it's the truth.....

    amazing write


  • Poppiez
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Loved stanza two the best! The photo couldn't be more perfect. Loved this poem.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ah...humm...Oh...yeah..sigh...yes...


  • moonlitanime
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i feels that you have cached the true meaning of love
    well done


  • Hells Shadow
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ho wow a beautiful write keep up the amazing work!!


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    unique
    your writing is quite different then most I have read,
    so much thought put in it,
    always well pulled together, great visual as well descriptive quality
    exceptional
    God bless you my friend...


  • XxXskeletonXxX
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    it has so much emotion behind it my favorite part is
    Yet love,
    Is a two faced creature:
    One is a monster greedily desiring hurt.
    The other is an angel that's obsessed
    With planting flowers.

    i very well agree with this poem and what it is saying you really know how to write


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow.... this is an awesome piece! Simply titled Love... yet there is nothing more complicated than this emotion.
    Excellent!

    becca

  • Eusebius
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Let the unwary beware, indeed! Very neatly and deftly done poem, and very expertly arranged (I don't know if "true" love can deisre hurt, but no matter.) Just a really excellent verse throughout!


  • Almae
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE THIS...
    <3STEF

  • Francis Vincent
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    Yet love,
    Is a two faced creature:
    One is a monster greedily desiring hurt.
    The other is an angel that's obsessed
    With planting flowers.

    ironic
    they say love makes the world go round





  • Puppydog gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SO TRUE!!!

    Oh yes, love is indeed every one of these things and so much more but your last words hold such depth, love must be given by both people to each other and not just one and not the other.'s I also found this out the hard way.


  • chilali
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! AMAZING! I loved this Noor. Loved it, loved it, loved it. This is definitely GOLD!!!! Gold, you hear?! Hehehe. Good luck in the contest, not that you need it though

    Love and best wishes,
    Ylova


  • OdeToMoonlight
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!

    You have captured the dichotomy that love is. There isn't always roses, and candlelight dinners. It can have a devastating effect on people, it's a pain like no other. Thank you for sharing this.

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