A Thousand Splendid Suns
curdling on coffee table,
waiting
for an end to my own
personal war
so I can sink to high cushioned caress
of slick sudden wisdom
How lucky I am to be Woman
this place now
to be free to peel off clothes
run in rain
slather in sunlight
free to let wind
braid my hair
Later
I will contemplate
being hidden behind veils
where eyes do not evaluate
my ugliness or beauty
seeing but unseen
behind rich whip
of woven fiber
of tradition
after I have washed the smut
of day
off my body
and tea has steeped, like incense
that soothes knotted fury
at this hard read
Author notes
am reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, Hosseini
What a way to feel grateful!
A contest entry
- spontaneity by sheltered.
700 points, ended December 27, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
"slick sudden"
"run in rain
slather in sunlight"
two spots where i read the alliteration as forced
otherwise this was filled with brilliant imagery
and metaphor
especially the final three stanzas

-
the third and last stanzas have such beautiful imagery ... really striking. great references to the sun in this piece ... I even see this in "knotted fury", the sun within/without.
thanks and good luck in the contest.



