Smoke drifts
From plump red lips
Take another drag
inhale the sweet toxins
but don't tell anyone
Shh they can't know
Smoke clings
in the air
Slowly release
exhale your /drug/
Proof of your deceit
Now hangs in front of you
Smoke floats
higher and dissipates
Start it over
Each tantalizing step
one by one
until the cherry dies
Smoke vanishes
as the butt lay forgotten
Author notes
I used option two the second picture.
~*~EDIT~*~
I fixed the 3rd and 4th stanza
Also, This is for the contest host, I meant to use the word dissipate its a synonym to disappear, sorry if it was misspelled I believe I fixed it.
A contest entry
- Sinfully Sweet, and Delightfully Diverse! ;) by VianneErekev.
550 points, ended January 9, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Give me the truth.
Comments
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if i smoked, i could use a cigarette right now. haha
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the point is made very well in this, nice job!
the third and fourth stanzas both end with air, and it sounds a little awkward. other than that, the repetition is great. nicely done!
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Ohhhh... I like it. Way to pull in the secret thing too, very creative. Guilty pleasure, mixed with deceit, and expressed beautifully! I loved the repetition as well. "Smoke drifts... smoke hangs... smoke floats... smoke vanishes..."
Thanks for entering!
Always,
V
Only thing:
Is it supposed to be "and disappears"?
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