Of Gods and Goddesses (Fiction)

Black clouds swirled above Aphrodite, whose shame had ignited into flame. Zeus stood watching with an empty bucket in hand, ready to throw imaginary water upon his daughter’s very real guilt. If only he had been his brother Poseidon, he would have an entire sea at his disposal, but alas, his ambition was too high and the dethroning of his father Cronus had left him, as his wife and sister Hera always reminded him, "A Jack-of-all-trades but a Master-of-none."

Hera was a bitch, she nagged from sunup to sundown, "When are you finally going to show that Roman half-wit Jupiter that you are twice the God he is?" or, "If I'd known you had so little ambition I'd have married our brother, Hades...now there's a man with some fire!" He knew he'd get it from Hera when she heard the news about that their daughter had combusted like a mere mortal! "Don't you care what people think of us? She gets that from your side of the family!" She'd say, forgetting that she was his sister. He'd heard it all before; If only he'd listened to his mother Rhea and stayed married to that saucy Demeter...but she was so fertile and allthose screaming brats about the house had given him headaches....

Aphrodite was a spleeny girl, Not at all like her sister Persephone, who hardly batted an eye at all the broken, mangled bodies and spirits that she dealt with as Queen of the Underworld. Persephone bore the screams and solicitations of millions of damned souls yet you never heard her cry out like Aphrodite over a mere head full of flames!

Though Zeus was ashamed to be seen with her in public, Aphrodite was still his daughter, and Hera's favorite, so he vainly tossed the imaginary water onto his querulous daughter's kindled coif. 

Zeus noticed a female Greek mortal walking past while his daughter  still wrestled with her extemporaneous hairdo. He quickly placed the bucket behind his back and tried to look inconspicuous. He had a thing for
mortal women, they were such forbidden fruit...and he knew that Hera detested them...which added to his desire.

"Morning madam." He bowed, Attempting to remain as God-like as possible. He then spoke again to the comely mortal hoping to distract her, "Look over there? Is Athens on fire?" As the mortal looked to the east he hurriedly shoved the bucket over his daughter’s flaming hair, tapping its bottom (now top) once for good measure.

"I'm sorry." he apologized to the woman, when she turned again toward him, it was just your youthful radiant beauty that confused me." The mortal female giggled and batted her eyelashes coquettishly...oh how Zeus loved these mortal women! Offering her his arm they walked intimately  toward the city, leaving poor Aphrodite in the dark.

"Daddy...daddy?" she called, unceremoniously trying to remove the pail that had become lodged on her bucket-sized noggin. "Daddy where'd you go?"

Stumbling down the dirt byway that led to the Acropolis, she bumped her bottom with that of a Wild Donkey, which  took exception to her assault and planted his objection into her posterior, sending Aphrodite flying backward a few feet…falling ingloriously on her already sore backsides. Her landing, however, was not without benefit, as the bucket on her head became free and flew off, settling between her sprawled, gangly legs. Shaking her head she looked around, "Who,  wha...how...happened?" She uttered, confused. She then reached for her right buttock and rubbed,. "Watch it you jackass!" she yelled, her pride still wounding her.

Slowly regaining her composure, she reached in her side pocket and removed a compact. She opened it and looked into the small mirror inside. Despite her singed hair, she was as beautiful as ever...still the most beautiful Goddess in the heavens. She frowned for a moment and then placed the compact back into her pocket. Reaching deeper inside she found a bic lighter and took it out, flicked twice, and brought the small bluish flame to her hair which quickly caught fire. Black plumes rising, she spun in a circle, flames and smoke trailing behind her, blending with her tortured screams that rose with orgasmic intensity. Bending down, she grabbed the bucket and ran toward the Acropolis...her hands and the bucket waving wildly, yet in unison with her frenetic shrills.