With ashes in your hair
and rings beneath your eyes
the chill of winter air
Is more than you can bear.
And though you want to speak -
the mind is slow and sick,
the words too weak,
the world too quick
for you to comprehend,
for you to live,
to understand
and see the end
Blue veins beneath pale skin,
and chipped nails on outstretched fingers,
drying out from within,
mind disconnected,
cardiac arrest,
mouth sewn shut…
You’re but a ghost,
a ghost of all your sins -
Why even exist?
You haunt yourself
and you insist
on carrying on…
A burden, pulling everyone down with you.
What have you done to yourself?
What has the world done to you?
A kiss on your chapped lips
and they are leaving -
never staying,
never believing.
Author notes
The first thing I've written in a year.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes - English is not my first language.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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At least a ghost is deceased.
But here you seem to speak of the walking undead, curse to roam and feel spiritual and emotional and physical pain.
Anyhell, I like the write.
It's uncomfortably haunting, but good.
-cheers
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This is definately a new favorite of mine =)
"With ashes in your hair
and rings beneath your eyes
the chill of winter air
Is more than you can bear.
--the world too quick
for you to comprehend,
for you to live,
to understand
and see the end
--A kiss on your chapped lips
and they are leaving -
never staying,
never believing."
Your word choice in this was amazing (:
I loved this write.
Great job! =) -
You did not misspell anything....I may have just now, but on line five, though sounds right. Thought would not....Weird....An awesome write. very good word usage! I love how you conveyed the emotions through such nicer words. A great write!
~*~*~*~*Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~
Oh, if you find the time, could you please read some of my work and tell me what you honestly think on it? Thanks so much!!!!!
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GOOD USAGE OF WORDS TO PORTRAY THE NEGATIVITY...!!!
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I love this
I have some music I'm writing that this suits really well. I'd like to use it, if you wouldn't mind. -
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I wouldn't mind at all
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i like this so much.
its so descriptive. and really well written.
it gave me the chills to read.
youre talented. im eager to read more >_<
p.s. in line five, i think you meant to write "though" instead of "thought"
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Thank you for the comment - and for correcting my spelling I can't believe I missed that
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Very emotional poetry
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Superb
Rather unique; and I have seen a ghost on two in my lifetime, so I know they are real. Of course, if a person hasn't seen one, they usually don't believe they exist. But that is from lack of experiential knowledge. Very well written, indeed.
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You’re but a ghost,
a ghost of all your sins
*Shudder* if English is not your first language then I'd love to read how well you write in your first language! This poem is chilling and disturbing. I love the sewn lips and the chapped lips. I wouldn't change a thing! Well done.
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