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Affliction of Addiction (Extended Version)



I.

agony
arrests my arrhythmia
as your toxic ambrosia
asphyxiates

the parasitic need
palpitates and feeds
a caustic consequence



II.

love bleeds,

an opiate of obliteration;

a surreal sentiment
that strangles,
entangles suffocation

as seconds
swell the sanguine stream.

 

 

III.

garnished,
by the avarice of greed,
spirit sinks in genuflection

crushed,
clinging to the contours
of centred, concentrated screams;

clutching, cursing
crippled by craving's consumption,
crawling to concede

nourished by the thought

of a narcotic nightmare;


for you,

 

you are my need

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

author name : Nom de Plume

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 11

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    i wouod like to thank you for this creative entry into my contest and to congratulate you on eht silver trophy you have already earned. i wish you the best of luck in this ocntest. viyanna rosemarie


  • Emmjay
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting poem NdP . With the exception of the first verse which, to me seemed forced due to the choice of form, I found this very rich in imagery and metaphor. I could identify your descriptiveness to my past using days, and even now, to the illusion of the last two lines.
    Well done! And best wishes in the contest.
    Sincerely -Emmjay


  • LOVELYmurder
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you did a great job. I love you extensive vocabulary, you don't see that very often here. Your use of alliteration was great. You used excellent imagery throught the poem and the ending was simply superb. Thank you for your uncommon addiction poem. Good job and good luck in the contest.


  • August Starlight silver member
    January 27
    Edit | Reply
    LOVE the alliteration =]
    thank you for entering.


  • Draig aine gold member
    January 16
    Edit | Reply

    congratulations on the silver

    a well deserved shiny thingy!!

    Annie


  • TankA
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Whilst reading I felt a similarity to a vampire's need. The innate thirst and desire for one's prey. Yet, I see it is probably about love but one that consumes and feels like an addiction. Each word has worth in this poem releasing imagery to the reader's mind. I admire your talent and expertise.

  • Draig aine gold member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply

    oh I do love this one

    I could become a fan, you have a wonderful style. I will have to read on


  • Swan song gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    Your vocabulary and use of alliteration is stunning!
    The flow is smooth and the desperate longing for your lover is evident.

    Love poems are very common but this is an uncommon love poem. I applaud your effort and hope you endevor to give the same passion to any suject of poetry.

    If ypu do that I think the world will look at your talent with mouth agape!!!!!


  • lunarlunacy
    January 1
    Edit | Reply
    love the language manipulation here. Kudos


  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing I wrote a piece
    on addiction that has some of the same
    sentiments... I will post it laster
    if you get a chance it's called 'dark remedy'
    Thank you so much for sharing
    this amazing write!
    Good luck
    ~Pastel


  • PerfectImperfection
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh WOW!!! the ending was spectacular, though as a whole - I was FLOORED!!! Excellent imagery and alliteration throughout. Truly powerful write here!!! By far though - the 3rd refrain just left me speechless, don't worry - if I pasted all I enjoyed the whole poem would be here practically - and I won't do that!!!


    Pained, with such a fragrant sense of longing - a needful pulse for one who is an 'addiction' indeed. Great piece!


  • Denerica silver member
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Imagery is phenominal.


  • HeartTangles
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I accidentally clicked on this featured poem and what a nice surpise I found. Written with such passion and vivid imagery. I particularly like these lines
    "garnished,
    by the avarice of greed,
    spirit sinks in genuflection"
    Thanks for sharing your poetry.


  • SaintSorrow
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This write is amazingly furnished with high vocabulary.
    I like how it doesn't point out wether or not it was a person or a drug.

    Nice Work.


  • Stuart Higginson gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An adeptly penned and potent piece. This, I gather, is about actual narcotic addiction, though it also conveys the same struggles, desperation and endurance relative to some relationships, in the sense of one needing another - addicted to another person, irrespective of whether the need and connection is reciprocal. Stunning use of language; I've bookmarked this to read again in future. No poem of this standing exists only to be read over in one sitting!

    Best wishes,
    Stuart

  • patrick20traveler
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I like it.

    It really tells the down side for some people who are addicted and can't handle the heaviness of it. I would like to also see an alternative write with the perspective of a poet who has had a valued experience in that dreamy haze; the bliss and striving for the state of Zen actualization opened up for those who can maintain their sanity while on the path of addiction. You have really captured the negative side. Good write.

  • piccola silver member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Reminds me of toxic relationships ... one person is addicted to it and one wants out really bad. Not a good place to be for either one. Well written.


  • lisapoet
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That is too well written for an addict but the imagry is too vivid for someone that does not know the horror of it all.THis is really well written. I have been in recovery for 6 months. I can relate! Thanks!

  • Francis Vincent
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    funny
    it's so true
    it's blue


  • RT KatPat
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow! that was deep.. i had to read it twice to grasp it.. the state of mind of an addict is captured with perfection...
    Fav parts
    "clutching, cursing
    crippled by craving's consumption,
    crawling to concede"
    Ofcourse the message is conveyed but the alliteration is brilliant too.

  • soulseer
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice write i spent about 5 and a half years addicted to coke and herion so i take a special feeling toward poems like that. good write and good luck man


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh, wow! I'm not sure whether I like this one or the original better.. Each is brilliant in its own way. You are a poet I will definitely be keeping tabs on! Well done, my friend


  • lordoftherings gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Great language usage but most of all great illiteration, the grinding of the "c"s in the last two stanzas really got me thinkiing about how much control addiction really has over us, I could feel each crunch and clutch as I read those "C" words--bone-chilling.

    Gregg


  • XxXskeletonXxX
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very well writen i enjoyed reading this very much


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a trluy interesting write. Thanks for sharing. This piece also shows that you have a higher intelligence level with all the medical jargon and such. Great write overall and wonderful imagery. This is romantic in a fun sort of way.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I likies

1 - 26 of 26