I found a man whos heart was true
I loved him so and through the
years this love did grow he gave me
his trust and everything he had
but I'd get mad and throw it back
he would piss me off and I would
curse his name when realy I was the one to blame
I would drag him down and be so mean
beat him down then cry for him to hold me
I messed it up I see that now but
I lost his love in the crowd I had my
fun and broke his heart now I'm left to cry in
the dark cause I broke my only true loves heart
Author notes
I dont know if this fits any of your categories but thank you for giving me the chanse to wright it
A contest entry
- ♥give me love♥ options!♥ by Fallen-Phases.
450 points, ended December 15, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
just lonely and looking for someone to care
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Four months later..
I finally get around to comment some of the poems in the reading list for Misanthropy. I love the basic idea of the poem and I somewhat feel you in there. This could be an outstanding write if you'd spend a bit more time revising and editing. My only problem with it as it just seems like a bulk of words, lacks punctuation, a spelling error. You just kind of rushed through it without giving it a second look. Maybe even breaking it up into stanzas would even make this flow a lot better :]
In all it's a great write and thanks for adding it to the reading list :]
-
I can kinda relate to this. It's a horrible situation and I'm sorry that happened to you .
Congrats on the trophy. -
i love this
this is one of your best writes great job on it. -
I like this. It is beautifully written nice job
-
hmm...it seems to blend into the majority of my categories, actually...a very endearing write, i really enjoyed the 4th 5th and 6th lines, very meaningful
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
