Not always one to suffer fools
Who break before they learn the rules,
Confounded sprite crossed playmate's wires,
Who would not play as muse requires.
When she flounced home and took the ball,
--Deserted, with no word at all--
I could not force what she inspires
Nor write the best my muse requires.
All letters run and verses skitter.
My sparrows sink and boulders twitter.
Against all meaning, lines conspire,
Whilst I refuse what muse requires.
Self-exile never worth the fight
I acquiesce that she was right
For animosity retires
When I play fair as muse requires.
By whimsied rules she dictates play,
For poetry to win the day.
In partnership , freed pen aspires
to write the best my muse requires.
~*~
A contest entry
- Verse Poetry - Form or Metered by Corey Harvard.
500 points, ended December 27, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I believe this is the only kyrielle in the contest thus far. While I've never written one, it certainly doesn't look like an easy form (it appears more difficult than a sonnet and less difficult than a villanelle). So be proud; you're one-of-a-kind.
One of the delights of refrain-based forms is seeing how the author chooses to frame each stanza around the refrain(s). I would even argue that the effectiveness of a refrain-based poem has everything to do with this; the natural tendency of the reader is to look for the dynamics in the refrain. Anyway, I think you've delivered this superbly.
Also, you evidently don't have problems with meter - this didn't falter at all.
Kudos! This is a strong work of art. -
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Thank you! Much fun to write, although I have never been able to standardize the refrain. Such a wonderful batch of poets you have drawn out with this contest. I don't envy you the judging of it!
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loved the form and the playfullness of your muse. Lovely you know? I have always wanted to share a kyrielle I've written...then I read one such as yours and fear mine will never live up! Sigh. Write on, poet.
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I would love to read your kyrielle! It is a beautiful form and I'm sure you could do it justice. Please PM me when you post it, as I would love to read!
Carol
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Ah yes, "Self-exile never worth the fight". If only I could learn that! To me, it always seeme to come out "better to be hated than ignored"!
I really like the style and the lyrical sounds, and I have to agree with Peripatetic, I love the "My sparrows sink and boulders twitter"
regards, Marlin
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Thank you , Marlin
The self-exile was from writing in rhyme and to try my hand at more free verse. But the inspirations demanded more structure, so I came back to the tetrameter. This ditty is somewhat of a sequel to "The Four-Footed Monster".....
Silly poetry lightens the heart to write!
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recalcitrant muse, huh? hmmm...
There is something about a kyrielle. I fear to challenge anyone to write one lest I come across a bad one. To date the experience has always been so pleasant!
The third verse of this lyrically poetic narrative is my favorite, but most especially the second line, "My sparrows sink and boulders twitter." For a moment there I thought I had drifted into an alternate universe, but it's not all bad when "Against all meaning, lines conspire."
I think you gave up the struggle too early with the fourth verse. Sometimes you have to take a strong hand with those muses and make 'em dance to your tune instead of the other way around. Tough love is hard on everyone, but a lazy, self-satisfied muse is no good for anyone. Don't let her run over you!
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The first Kyrielles I ever came across on another forum challenged me purely by example...one in particular about a fiery pen. These lovely compact forms require precision of thought and wording, and a great deal of distillation. Ever grateful I am for these forums and the fine models presented!
I wonder if this could be correctly called a Kyrielle. Maybe the fault of more narative leanings, I can never resist tweaking and rolling that last line a little. Have not yet come up with one where the last line is identical in every stanza. T
My ADD muse is working on 6 different poems of varying forms this week, so no fears of her getting lazy. She's grown up bit in the last couple of years, tho she huffs a little when the rules get stretched to far. I can now dump all the pieces out of the box, and she will sit for a while to help me assemble the puzzles. We still aspire.
A Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Carol
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I tend to adhere pretty closely to conventions of form, but more for reasons of personality than versatility. I may notice when someone else takes a liberty here and there, but unless a poem puts aside almost every defining aspect of a form, it rarely affects my judgment of the work. "Reconciliation" is instantly recognizable as a kyrielle to anyone familiar with the form, and that should say enough about how well it represents an example it.
In the end, form is just a way of conveying content. If we have little of interest to share, the best that form can do is offer some misdirection from our banality by our clever wielding of its devices. (Cleverness is not necessarily a bad thing; we should just try to make sure it's not the only thing.)
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