My Sister

You need to be the bigger person and say something
Because we all know she ain’t going to speak.
Why do I have to say something?
I wasn’t mean mugging her on the streets.
She stopped talking to me
Not the other way around.
And though I sit here and laugh
Behind close doors I cry and frown
Because she’s my sister no matter how much I deny
That I don’t care if she talk to me
But damn! It’s been over a year.
When is enough, enough?
How many tears can I cry alone?
Because I’m going to keep crying
Until God sends her home to me
So we can laugh and catch up on things,
But why do I have to keep feeling sorry for myself
Like I did something wrong to her?
I was a grown ass woman and so was she,
But when I up and leave St. Mary’s
All fingers was pointed at me.
I lived my life at eighteen the same as she,
But because no one really lectured me
She figured ‘why bother with this bitch?’
When she turned eighteen
She did all types of shit
And no one stopped her
Because she was an adult,
But I leave and go see my man
And when I come back
It’s like we was never friends,
Was never cool
And I was the dumb one
Thinking I was the fool,
But I got over that pretty quick
Because I didn’t decide to quit
And leave my sister behind.
It’s been a year, five months, two days,
Some odd hours and some little minutes
And still counting down until the day
She looks at me and apologize.
I needed a big sister in my life
And turning to my cousin to talk was all right,
But it’s not the same if you don’t have the same mother and father.
And I sit here wondering why bother
Maybe she’ll come around and maybe she won’t,
But I shouldn’t sit here
Hoping she would take me back as her sister.
I just don’t want to die and not reconnect with her.
Like back in the days
I remembered when I had her back
When she beat that big bitch in her face,
And when she fought my older brother
I took her side
And when he got jealous and mad
Then decided to key up her ride
I was there ready to whoop some ass
Always been that ride or die chick,
But I’m done.
I’m grown now
And though I don’t have a daughter or son to live for
I’m living for me,
But I don’t know how long I can dwell on the past
I’m debating on whether or not I should let it be,
But I go ahead and be the bigger person
Even though she’s taller than me
And say I’m sorry for the days we lost
Getting to know each other better than when we were kids
And I hope you take the end of this poem
And repeat it through your head
As you think of me.
Because I will always be your sister
That is what you have to see.