Your Lead

I followed your lead and got down on my knees
Because you said I wouldn’t be more than that
Just a chick that laid on her back
And took it all like a man
I had to be all and everything I can.
I followed after you,
Walked like you,
Talked like you,
Acted like you
I wanted to be nothing but you
Because I figure that’s how I would be seen.
I followed your lead until I couldn’t follow no more
And I met a man who I absolutely adored
As he took me off the streets
Gave me clothes and food to eat
And he asked me wasn’t I a little
Too young to be turning tricks for treats?
I told him that I followed your lead
And you gave me all the love and information that I need.
He told me that it wasn’t love
You was playing a game
And used me as people disgraced my name
And men got hooked on my body
So thick and so luscious.
You made me believe that I had this power inside me
That made men bow down to me
And treat me higher than a queen,
But instead I got treated like some hooker from the streets.
I looked up to you and worried about you more than me
Gave you my last dollar so you can eat,
But you played me
Hurt me and I sit here and cry
Trying to wipe away my tears,
But they flow faster after each stroke from my eyes.
And I sit here trying to breathe yet I can’t
Because I felt this pain one too many times
And I swore the next time I would die.
I ran into the bathroom and shut the door
Reminiscing on how bad I used to be ignored.
I opened the medicine cabinet
And grabbed a body full of life
Swallowed it all and with all my might
I wish I would die
So a little time would fly by and you could see
That using me was a mistake
And I’ll be back when you need the faith
To move on to a better life
And I’ll tell you there’s no way in hell
That how you treated me was right.
And I lecture you on the importance of being a better person
Knowing that you’ll still be that same old diva
Who only thinks of herself.
I followed my lead this time instead of yours
As I looked back on the man I adored
I knew he was my angle
And God sent him down to me
To help me believe that I could be someone other than she.