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i crave silence
in absence of speech
but my breath is ragged
my body unconsciously reaching
for something intangible
one shred of recognition
before you cast me out
in ignorance
.
A contest entry
- QUICKIE! 10:30:30 [prompt] by etoile.
675 points, ended December 12, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a draft - be as harsh as you like.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent. You made me feel lost, and alone and so very very cold.
It is a true poet who is able to reach out and touch another, across the vast plains of cyberspace
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Then you are a true poet with me
thank you for all your lovely comments 
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Congrats on the silver those last three lines were sensational.
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Balls - it says you wrote this 2 days ago, and 2 days ago, I don't think I was online.
Anyways, for both a quickie contest and a poem in general, this is biennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Those first 2 lines really made me chew a figurative biscuit - even though nobody's saying anything, you still want silence, which seems to imply silence wasn't there...silence or peace or...
I can't articulate myself today, but I found my [wrong?] interpretation groovy.
Great use of 'intangible'; I love that word because it's tangible in its meaning and yetnottt.
Mazel tov on the Silver!
Jessica
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Not wrong at all - spot on
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Goodygoody.
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Well chosen words expressing the ponderance of wordless silence and empty words devoid of thought. Reaching for something intangible(and quite elusive), (acceptance/)recognition while disdaining rejection.
Congrats on the Silver trophy!
Brother Dennis
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Congratulations on your silver!
I am fascinated by these quickie contests
and all who enter...to me, they are extremely
difficult, yet, with this poem you have made
it seem effortless. Truly, you are a talented
writer. Love, Lane
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i really like this. your take on the prompt is amazing and i love the imagery. this is beautifully written in so few words. i love it. i love the last couple lines, they're amazing.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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Wow!!!!
I think the difference you make between silence and absence of speech is very clever. The second couplet is a very vivid illustration of absence of speech without silence. "for something intangible" is a very powerful line and I like how it stands on its own.
The last three lines truly resonate with me. These days I've been thinking of someone who used to do that to me... heck, who am I kidding, I think of him nearly every day of my life. I hope you're better than me at this dumb getting-over thing.
I love this poem
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this is another winner for me ^_^ and you wrote it in so little time!
i really like the point of view, its interesting and unique. i also love how you expanded on the actual act of speaking/creating (i hope i got that meaning right)
great write and good luck in the contest!
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