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Maybe Next Time

I am Jack's dirty little secret,
That (diamond-that-isn't)-in-the-rough.
He's hoping that no one will find me out...
Tough.
I am Jack's concious
That's eating him alive.
He knew it, wouldn't do it, he blew it big time.
(He needs to pay for his crime)
I am Jack's life
Sent reeling from the latest blow
She dealt a hard deck
And it sealed my fate in spades
And I can't catch my breath (or Jack's).
I am Jack's affection,
The one that used to hold him up
But now I'm tearing him down (in two)
(In three, in four, in five)
I don't think he'll survive

Too late, too late, too late for Jack.
She's gone for good and isn't coming back.
I am the voice that whispers in Jack's mind...
"Maybe next time."

Author notes

Freeverse, mild rhyme.
I don't usually dabble in freeverse, so this is kinda out-on-a-limb for me. I like to hide meanings and stories behind each of my poems, so if you can find Jack's story behind this piece, grand. Look hard.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    December 19, 2008

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    good piece well written i feel the conflictbetween Jack and himself./ That's the fight we rarely win. It's nice to hear someone else struggles with free verse. Keep writing we'll keep reading, Boog


  • suzume
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, hooking first line and compelling progression. Never got boring.

    Thanks for entering


  • blondevamp
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely. So i went out to perposly find this after i realized we entered the same contest. I like this aloy, cause i love Fight Club and spanish. XDD Well as always i wish you luck in this contest. Love, your lover Jacob


    • Wolf Run0
      December 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      YOU SPELLING MAKES MY EYES BLEED.
      'purposely'
      'a lot'
      EYAAAAHHH!!
      But I still love you.

      • blondevamp
        December 13, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        TeeHee. We that is some thing that you should expect by now. XD


  • FinalDusk
    December 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love the poem...btw

1 - 6 of 6