I am Jack's dirty little secret,
That (diamond-that-isn't)-in-the-rough.
He's hoping that no one will find me out...
Tough.
I am Jack's concious
That's eating him alive.
He knew it, wouldn't do it, he blew it big time.
(He needs to pay for his crime)
I am Jack's life
Sent reeling from the latest blow
She dealt a hard deck
And it sealed my fate in spades
And I can't catch my breath (or Jack's).
I am Jack's affection,
The one that used to hold him up
But now I'm tearing him down (in two)
(In three, in four, in five)
I don't think he'll survive
Too late, too late, too late for Jack.
She's gone for good and isn't coming back.
I am the voice that whispers in Jack's mind...
"Maybe next time."
That (diamond-that-isn't)-in-the-rough.
He's hoping that no one will find me out...
Tough.
I am Jack's concious
That's eating him alive.
He knew it, wouldn't do it, he blew it big time.
(He needs to pay for his crime)
I am Jack's life
Sent reeling from the latest blow
She dealt a hard deck
And it sealed my fate in spades
And I can't catch my breath (or Jack's).
I am Jack's affection,
The one that used to hold him up
But now I'm tearing him down (in two)
(In three, in four, in five)
I don't think he'll survive
Too late, too late, too late for Jack.
She's gone for good and isn't coming back.
I am the voice that whispers in Jack's mind...
"Maybe next time."
Author notes
Freeverse, mild rhyme.
I don't usually dabble in freeverse, so this is kinda out-on-a-limb for me. I like to hide meanings and stories behind each of my poems, so if you can find Jack's story behind this piece, grand. Look hard.
A contest entry
- I am Jack's.... by suzume.
700 points, ended December 14, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Mr. Comment Box is afraid that YOU'LL never come back! Assuage his fears by leaving a comment now.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
good piece well written i feel the conflictbetween Jack and himself./ That's the fight we rarely win. It's nice to hear someone else struggles with free verse. Keep writing we'll keep reading, Boog


-
Interesting, hooking first line and compelling progression. Never got boring.
Thanks for entering -
Lovely. So i went out to perposly find this after i realized we entered the same contest. I like this aloy, cause i love Fight Club and spanish. XDD Well as always i wish you luck in this contest. Love, your lover Jacob
-
-
YOU SPELLING MAKES MY EYES BLEED.
'purposely'
'a lot'
EYAAAAHHH!!
But I still love you. -
-
TeeHee. We that is some thing that you should expect by now. XD
-
-
-
Love the poem...btw
1 - 6 of 6





