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Come to Jack

I am Jack's cold-hearted smirk
Waiting in the dreary murk
Waiting for you to come and see
What's in store for you and me

Cold and dark with rainy skies
I promise you I'll tell you lies
Come to me, my darling girl
Let my awful plan unfurl

A contest entry

Did it flow at all?

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • suzume
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not a huge fan of rhyme, but this isn't bad. And yours is the first I've read that had an inherently dark feel to "Jack".

    Thanks for entering.