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[ Wailing, crying, screaming, newborn, ]

Wailing, crying, screaming, newborn,
Clinging to you, as you shake your head in scorn
Third year of life, filled with strife,
And fourth, you and Daddy went seperate lives
365 days later, little Joe came into the world
A year passes by and dark secrets unfurl:
Seventh is truly not the lucky year
Eighth year of existence is just as unfair.
Oh, what can I say for the next?
A decade of life, certainly not the very best.
Onzes, eleventh year, call it what you like
Finally a dozen, more pain to arrive by night.

Author notes

This is the prompt:
5. Write a line about each year of your life. So for example, if you are 16 years old, you write 16 lines and each line represents a year of your life.
I'm 12 years old xx

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For your short life, you seem to have had to go through a lot of agro, sorry about that. I know how it was to have a lot of family issues at a young age. Lets hope year number 13 will be better for you


  • Paloszoo gold member
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely amazing, young poetess! Such a sad piece filled with angst and confusion. Sounds like you've had a rough start. You've penned it well. I hope things look up in your bright future! Good luck in the contest!


    • go away.
      December 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Yes, I have had a pretty rough time of it, but I hope things look up. Thanks! I hope I get a shiny.