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Sense-possessing

 

 

Crouching like a hungry animal
on the sidewalks, alleys.
Licking with spiky tongue, grass-green lips.
Watching with ready limbs
For mind-weak preys.

The minute is closing; someone approaching.
Someone of a sense-possessing smell.

 

 

 

 

 

(C) Noor 12/11/2008 

Author notes

Contest prompt: 7 lines on: Obsession; it's not there to control you, it's there to slip you up.

Meh! It's bad I know. I think writers block is getting for a new invinsion. lolz

Thanks for reading!

In a list

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • InBetweenThoughts
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good morning Hikari Lady Congratulations on your beautiful award, well deserved. Great choice of words and imagery. Thank you for sharing, have a wonderful day, Ken IBT


  • Merry Christmas
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't think that this is bad actually, it's quite awesome. I like the use of the conjoined words, it enhances the poem. It was definitely a different take on the prompt and you did well.

    Thanks for entering and being patient


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah..you are adament here to bring the depth to the emotions you are living with a sharp impressions of your mind..well said...


  • chilali
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is not bad at all! I love it. Your take on the prompt was really great love. Good luck in the contest

    Much love
    Ylova


  • chilali
    December 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Let me know when you are done Noor

1 - 5 of 5