Silently sliding, salty
fleshy paths give way
Flowing indeterminably
liquid sadness.
Author notes
.
A contest entry
- Shrt nvt nly by cadaver mentality.
1550 points, ended December 18, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
This is truly beautiful; I can definately see why you won gold for this piece. It is incredible that you could pack so much emotion into such a short space. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing, and congratulations on your win!
-
Brillaint.
Simply a wonderful write.
It descrides the feeling, and feel of tears and crying.
It's simply beautiful.
keep writing,
Annie Shadows
-
Amazingly written. Enjoyed this a lot.
-
Fantastic
I enjoyed the vivid imagery that made this short piece jump out of the page and into the senses. It is definitely worthy of a gold trophy. Congratulations on such an amazing write and win. Yours,Gypsy
-
What a great read! I do not think there is a person around that can not relate! I know I do, as I myself have shed many tears in the past couple of years. More than my fair share, I would say. The brevity of this one, makes for a very powerful capture of words!
Congrats on the Gold!
Nyetta
-
Liquid sadness that floods the cheeks of pain. Brevity can be quite emotional and heartfelt.
-
Wow. Short and simple, but with so much vivid description and emotion. Beautiful.
-
CONGRATULATIONS !!
Well done hun with have to go tell dune boy about the Gold.Very nicely penned.
-
Yes, this is well worth the Gold... and more.
11 remarkable words, that grabs the heart.
I can clearly see why this was in the spotlight.
Very lovely.
Justgot2loveme
-
absolutely lovely...
the imagery is simply perfect, and each word holds so much meaning. your gold was so well deserved, wonderful write!!
-
Makes me want to cry. Very descriptive lovey!!!
-
It hurts so good
Liquid sadness is a most beautiful image - well done. So much said in so few words.
crystallady
-
Wow. This sounds kinda weird but that made my eyes tear up. That describes everything to do with cryin so perfectly. This was so powerful. You are an amazing poet.
-
wow
well done -
Compact
Every word is used for a reason. Your metaphor, "liquid sadness" is a striking ending. Very well done. camen -
Thank you for entering.
I will reserve comments until contest is closed. camen
-
I really love this. It has a dream quality to it.
-
This is great though short it has much impact thanks for sharing good luck in the contest best wishes always be well.
-
There is imagery plus in these lines What a poetic way to describe tears. I feel the pain and emotion behind the reason for the tears to fall even though there is no explanation given the lines do not need one. So much has to be expressed in a shorter poem to grab the attention and hold the senses while the understanding or comprehension is taken in thought. Very nicely crafted. Good luck in the contest.
-
forgot the applause!
sorry!!
x
-
beautiful - i love it.
such gorgeous imagery throughout, you describe tears perfectly. a short poem but filled with emotion and power, it really leaves an impact on the reader.
thank you! i truly enjoyed reading this
and best of luck in the contest you have entered.
ElectricBloom
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
