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Weapon of Choice

Your words remain numbingly haunting,
your lies are easily believed;
Your threats are ever daunting,
your bone chilling promise is received.

You claim me as your petty prize,
you take advantage of my weakness;
The final shred of freedom within me slowly dies,
I can't believe it took me til' now to see this.

Our hands intertwined for the determined last time,
Because now deep down I don't wonder, I know;
that it wasn't ever real when I called you mine,
I prepare to receive another flesh scarring blow.

Blood is trickling down from my face,
your bruises run deeper than the skin;
that you love me isn't the case,
know that I'll never let you win.

I lay in broken shards on the kitchen floor,
once again you take your hatred out on me;
for every day you wish to pain me more,
though this is the last day I'll let that be.

Today you'll take your weapon of choice,
and once again threaten me with death;
tonight I promise you, you'll hear my voice,
even if it comes out with my last breath.

Your betrayal consumes my thoughts,
pollutes my scattered dreams;
I love you, I love you NOT; and tonight baby,
it'll be you who's torn at the seams.

Author notes

angeladowns.

For the "Good-bye Contest I'm Leaving AP' contest, I used option 2. =]

A contest entry

What's your constructive criticisms and thoughts on my poem?

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Xxnightmare21xx
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    First, thank you for entering my contest. I really liked your poem, it had a lot of anger in it and i usually just see love poems. Thats getting sickening. But thank you for entering.

    Your Judge

    kaycee


  • Luciferschild
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    i liked the rhyme scheme in this plus the theme is very cool, thank you for entering my contest and good luck

  • carnivalesque.
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    oh, very nice. nice to see that anger finally bubbling up to overflow i like the way it gradually built up throughout the poem.

    "Your betrayal consumes my thoughts,
    pollutes my scattered dreams;"

    i really loved those lines thanks for entering!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    That first stanza reminds me so much of my ex.
    I kn, ow how you feel though, ometimes. manipulation and harsh words are the cruelest form of weapon s


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    nicely done thanks for entering


  • spideracer gold member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    Sadly this kind of abuse happens in homes all around the world, every day of the week. It shouldn't, but it does. Your poem is very real for too many women out there, and even men can go through that. Such emotions of reality you've painted here, well written and good luck in the contest.


  • Abstract Image
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    oooh what a brilliant poem...sorry I'm not trying to be British but that's what it comes out like i guess. anyway i loved reading this one it such a depth to it like you could hear her screaming...good luck.


  • BeautifullyBroken42
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for fallowing the rules!
    GOOD LUCK

  • Luciferschild
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    the rhyme scheme was a little hectic and the rhymes themselves could have been a bit better but i digress, i really liked this poem, i tells a story well still retaining some nuances, thank you for entering and good luck

  • x26ss
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An all too common theme, with very over used descriptives. But the writing is so well, and the feeling still manages to get through to me. Nice job
    Good luck

  • starving-to-survive
    December 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! so much great emotion, and your strength portrayed is incredible, i love this. Well done. Thank you for entering my contest


  • nobodys-girl
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this seriously just gave me chills! its amazing...though i hope no one ever has th go through a situation like this, i hope everyone has the strength to say no more. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!

  • celadia
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I find this scary because of the violence, it's good to stand up for yourself, though, you have to finally say, 'it's enough'

  • poetyaknoit
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! Each line seems to be thought through so intensely and comes out with such a powerful tone. Well said. Best of luck in the contest. Keep on writing, ~TC


  • miss keara
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I like it :]

    I am always a fan of these types of poems, ones where the table is said to be turning and the outlook changing as well.
    I like the rhyme, it worked well for the poem
    Though some parts had a sticky kind of flow.
    Still a good read which I enjoyed very much, so my thanks for entering my contest!
    ♥
    :Keara


  • breedluv gold member
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your rhyme is well used; I agree that forced rhyme is not good, but I don't see that in this poem. Good job!


  • Zenda-Lokki silver member
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now this is much better, even if I do say so myself lol. The rhyme is pretty much faultless here so I don't know what Kitsune was talking about lol. Good luck in the contest x


  • Kitsune Kyuuketsuki
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This isn't bad, considering the rhyme.
    I don't normally like rhyme, it sounds too forced, unless you can do it well, and in truth, that rarely happens.
    Constructive criticism here, practice more with rhyming.
    If you're not willing to take the time to do that, then write freely.
    You shouldn't be limited to what a poem stereotypically is.

1 - 18 of 18