At dusk, the sun
dripped technicolor,
clouds doused in red and orange.
I know you saw me crying then,
because you took my hand -
I pressed my lips to your wrist,
then held you.
That was our first night
and I will mark it by
the purple hills behind us
and the clear and starry sky that followed.
A contest entry
- sugarplums by Saffron.
2000 points, ended December 20, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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perfect take on the prompt. its so colorful without really being intrusive.
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hey congratulations (:
came back to read it. it shines (: -
very pretty, Scott
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This is what I was looking for in this contest--something with imagery and a take on the contest prompt that wasn't obvious--and only you could write a beautiful love poem from such a prompt.
The technicolor sun reminds me of a poem you wrote a while back that spoke of a technicolor sunset, and I can see this one just as clearly.
This is really beautiful, and I am happy to see it in my contest.
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I pressed my lips to your wrist, then held you.
...I want that.
*sigh*
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that's beautiful (:
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Oooh
That's really nice Scott. Simple, moving and succinct.
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