I came into being just as the stroke
of vain midnight fell like a whiplash
upon the back of unrepentant night
for what purpose was I moulded
from the fabric of chill darkness
and placed naked and weeping
before the eyes of the crowd?
my words are being torn from me
as stillborn thoughts that please
no one in this audience, but I
the truth I speak is clear and pure
but the pathway to it is a hard one
no one thanks the bearer of such
sour unpalatable truths as these
standing here outside the circle
of hope and human understanding
I wonder if the final curtain should
be drawn and the candle extinguished
by the thinnest blade or hottest bullet
or by the poison sleep that never ends
It is not the dead poets I hasten to meet
I hurry to join with those who never were
A contest entry
- .give me something amazing. by landmark.
1650 points, ended January 7, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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"my words are being torn from me
as stillborn thoughts that please
no one in this audience, but I"
this is my favourite stanza, however, this entire piece is full of such depth. Very, very good poetry!
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Chillingly dignified and a place we all been if we are unlucky enough. Very moving - particularly the last line.
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.. wonder if the final curtain should
be drawn ..candle extinguished
by the thinnest blade or hottest bullet
or by..poison sleep that never ends
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wow1
'It is not the dead poets I hasten to meet
I hurry to join with those who never were'
what a dynamic ending.
Very far sighted; shortcut into instant rebirth.
Hell how did you know there was a line waiting to be born.
just think there is a long line for rebirth and joke.
Congrats.
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Wow, that first stanza is poetry in motion...hardcore nihilism....you are definitely the Yoda of deep & dark!
Superb!!
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A poem of despair, well expressed and shared.
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My wish is that the next words
to grace your page shall be of light
and appreciative observation of life
to counterbalance the darkness seen here.
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Your poems get deeper and darker every time I read a new one from you. This one challenges existance to the core and feels full of depsair.
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I am simply in awe of your writings. These words are full to overflowing with dispair and pain. I can not imagine the feeling of abandonment that is alluded to in the 2nd stanza. Just amazing work.
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John
If I could colorize a poem 1/10 as much as this I'd be extremely happy.
Great poem, John!
JJ
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You have me astounded. 
This is a winner. Keep it flowing...
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standing here outside the circle
of hope and human understanding
I wonder if the final curtain should
be drawn and the candle extinguished
that's just amazing Arafura.
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you are the amazing and here you go again. If I were flowers I would come plant my self beside you to make you feel warm inside.
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Great stuff here John. I can but agree with Yvette's comments. An excellent poem.
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OMG! I love the first stanza. The words, images, and feeling all melt into one magic moment of serenity for me.
"no one thanks the bearer of such
unpalatable truths as these are"
I would remove the word "are" from the end of that line. It's not needed.
Poet, we need you here. Death is afar off for you. Please keep the pen to the parchment. This intelligent writ makes the readers ponder their own immortality. It is "amazing" as requested! I wish you well in this contest.
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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nice. i really like the last two lines... i love endings with a kicker.. well done. :-)
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