I set my arms
beside your body and
let them sink into the earth
where they sever and branch
just to hold you up
within my vines.
You'll never have to walk again.
I stood you up,
a mind deep and heavy
but I held like
a steel statue,
reaching up to beg dieties
for false hope.
But you slid to the bottom.
I curved my words
carefully around your form
as to never rustle the
creature inside that existed
between the
affections.
The wind blew me violently.
And now I'm only left
arranging the leaves
to hide
the space you left behind.
Author notes
It's not as harsh as it sounds.
A contest entry
- sacrifice by film.
525 points, ended December 28, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Ever You Want by fairytalelovestory.
725 points, ended December 31, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
wow
i wish i had written this, haha. "as to never rustle the creature inside that existed between the affections" - such a great line.
simplistic but moving
-cassidy
-
Its a good piece, but I would have liked to see it just a bit more edgy -
though its all personal preference. -
I really liked the last stanza, although I think you could take out some of the extra stuff to make it even more powerful.
The wind blew me violently.
I arrange leaves
to hide the space
you left behind.
I don't know, that might not be your style. I guess I just love minimalism a bit too much lol. I also thought this line was nice
You'll never have to walk again.
ah, wonderful.
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