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Weep for the Concrete Angel

She found a pair of mittens
matted to the bottom of a dumpster;
pulled them on to hide the running sores
as she lifted a bird-like hand to beg.
Cold worked its way through her like fire,
sizzling nerve endings and bringing
a flow of snot down over her mouth,
which was gasping, gaping with the
difficulty she found in breathing the
formidable night air, steam puffing like a
two pack a day smoker on a final binge.
Her eyes were nearly crusted shut.
She was hungry; had been for days.
Needed a fix, but no one wanted to fuck
her for a hit; her eyes restlessly roving
over the putrid concrete, hoping to find
a little rock . . . a little rock just for her.
Cops found her at 3:00 AM, hands folded
as if in worship of her tiny concrete world.

In a list

A contest entry

Tell me what you think, but kindly, please.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • tawk gold member
    August 25

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    Wow what a powerful write and so true to life of so many these days. You hear about addicts being found dead all the time makes me wonder is there anything our world could be doing different, I have never been addicted to any drugs and do not know how they could run your life but I have seen many who are and know the drug controls every aspect of their lives. Great write so vivid and real. Hugs Theresa


  • Lady Altheia
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked

    I thought I read thios before and I did. You have been hoodwinked becase we care. Love you mommy.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked!

    Wow. Just wow.

    I am in absolute awe of the stark image that you have created.
    It smacks you in the face and almost feels like a punch to the gut. So rarely does one find someone willing to point out the real issues with humanity.

    Perhaps I will take inspiration from your courage and do the same.

    BRILLIANT imagery. I am beyond impressed

    Shari-Lei


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hood Wink!

    This is quite a stark write ~

    I love the intensity of the imagery as it flows down the page into my mind; a small thing I think is it may flow a little easier if this was broken up into a stanza or two - however this is great through and through no matter what


    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • Dark Otter
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked!

    Too close to the ugly reality! This is dark and real. It left me with that ugly, empty feeling of what has my poetry done recently. Quite a piece


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good piece, I read because I wanted to see where it wnet. HOWEVER, my contest states it is a 30-40 words contest. So this is so very above that, it can't even be considered. Sorry.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sis...you have a way of telling it like it is...On the streets of the down and out ..hanging on to life..by a thread or a bottle or fix..Your imagery, your heart as you write gives it a powerful thought provoking feel to getting inside the "skin" of these needy souls...What a write!

  • Lady Altheia
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I wonder how people end up in these situations where they are at the utmost bottom and feel they can't climb out.

1 - 8 of 8