Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Sky...[silver]

He became part of the Sun
mountaintop and dawn light
streaming across skies and valleys
painting the underside of clouds to fire
while blue grey sky became a rising curtain

and day carried him across the arc of blue

She became part of the sun
on the sandy pebbled shore
where the mountain faces keep the glow
her silhouette became a dream of evening
danced upon shimmering gold

where he watched ...'til waters soaked it in,
and she was gone to night,
to climb the silver skies
and touch the quiet waves ever soft
that say...hush



Author notes

I need to get better at names ...this is the 3rd one I called sky ...

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • LadyLavender gold member
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    perfect, Pkid.


  • Ryno
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Your imagery was jaw-dropping - nothing more to say there.

    I also loved your poetic tone - it came across in a serene, but powerful way - and it just crept into the core of the reader, stirred the emotions, I would say.

    I just can't think of anything else to say or suggest... brilliant


  • Mari Goes gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem and the connection between sun, sky, mountains and sea is lovely.
    Wonderful painting


  • Nom de Plume
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Loving the depth to your imagery "the arc of blue" my favourite...


  • tara wilson gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "her silhouette became a dream of evening"

    this is gorgeous, i love the ending lines, too.

    wonderful imagery & mood.


  • poetryality silver member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Like the dawn of a glorious day, where the "sky" is God's canvas, you have painted a breathtaking picture. You have filled this page wih the artistry of the ages, A seamless work of wonder poet. I wish you well in this contest.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful parallelism. The emotive effect and gentle fluidity of this one is so strong, one cannot help but be pulled into the experience. I love poems with such beautiful exchange and the images here are second to none. His strength and fire, her silhouette and glow...perfectly captivating. Adored the soft conclusion... and couldnt help thinking that it would all start all over again.

  • Eusebius
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Most excellent cadence here, deftly and ably done it flows like a rapid river... just a really fine poem all around...


  • JinSays gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Shivers.
    Gorgeous.
    You've incorporated my favorite Forces of Nature,
    yin and yang, and all things in between.
    Excellent.
    Love,
    Jin

1 - 9 of 9