There was a heated conversation between two friends and the first made a cutting remark and walked away the victor. Dave, the loser, replayed the argument in his head many times and his face grew red as he remembered having nothing to reply when his adversary pronounced:
"Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she sits around the house!"
It was a decisive, cutting blow and Dave was left dumbstruck. He wished he'd had a retort, and after the tenth replay, one had arrived,
"Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has her own zip code!"
It was perfect! It had all the elements of a great rebuttal. It had satire, was pithy and with a scathing truth written within. He knew what he had to do.
Dave hopped into the elevator and rode down 4 floors of the Bedlam Manor to the lobby where his former friend luckily still remained.
"Hey, Bonko!" shouted Dave, with an excitement he could not conceal,
"Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has her own zip code!"
Bonko looked questioningly at his former friend and said one word,
"What?"
"You said my mother was as big as a house, well yours has her own zip code. How do you like them apples!"
Bonko debated a moment on whether to be the bigger man, but being only four foot, one inches tall, he decided he didn't like the apples one bit,
"Well your mother is so fat, they named a state after her...
WashingTON!"
Bonko turned and casually walked out the door, leaving Dave standing, mouth agape, unable to speak.
Five minutes later, Dave hurried out of the lobby and down the street to Bonko's trailer that was hitched on the grounds of "Yem and Ima's Clown and Puppet Show." His lips quivered as he muttered the perfect rebuttal over and over...`
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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nice and its funny
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lmao. Stuff you - I should read your work more often so I get as good as you ^^
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So....where do you come up with this stuff? This is great!- Your mom is so ....um, well...pfffttt...let me think about it and I'll get back to you! lol.
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"So....where do you come up with this stuff?"
I blame Moxie.
Thanks again
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When I was a bartender I worked in a place kinda like Cheers in Chattanooga, TN. A man and his wife owned it and they were always fighting. I would laugh and when he left she would cry. When he would jump at me I would jump back and we would wind up laughing and insulting each other. One Sunday morning about 6am the phone rang and it was her. SHe told me they were fighting (again) and what he had said. Bewildered I waited for her to ask me to come pick her up or something but after she blew her nose she said in a half-laughing voice, "What should I say to him?" I almost died laughing.
This is an amazing piece of work here, I agree it should be continued. Maybe a book deal is in the future.
Sharon
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That's a great story, thanks for telling it to me.
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I remember this one! I even remember the comment I left when I first read it, well almost all of it anyway.
Good to read it again
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Yep, I know that you read this one. You've read all these I updated. I apologize again for deleting them, the comments mainly. Have a cookie...
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Is Bonko really that short? I never knew.
Mother jokes are in the lame hall of fame. lol I bet if we looked back in on this story in the now, they're probably still going around which gives me an idea...I think you should write another installment in the Bonko series ...Bonko's Groundhog Day. Good idea? lol
Bonko's a mean clown. I feel bad in a way for Dave unless this is actually Pyscho Dave which would make it another story entirely. lol
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Thank you for looking at some of my old stuff. The people who all say you are mean are wrong.
Weird, I was just looking at this story yesterday, trying to decide whether it stays or goes. The story needs some lengthening to really work but I decided to keep it. Thanks. You must have had that before, where you think of the perfect response -- only long after the original offending remark was made...that is Esprit de l'escalier...yes, I found it in a dictionary one day.
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I think everyone has had that happen at least a few times in their lives, some more than others of course, which is what makes this story good...it's a strong feeling most people can relate to.
Funny you were looking at this yesterday too. Glad you gave it a stay of execution.
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