Wooden boards shifted in time
with the slow creak
of the old man rocking
on the weather eaten porch
shielding his solitary home.
The heat of the summer sun
shimmered in the distance
creating dreams of refreshing hope;
pools of water that vanished in proximity.
Each day was created anew
as the sun rose early
over distant blue hills
ending the slumber
of forgetfulness and peace.
Each day dawned the same,
the summer sun rose in the distance
burning forgiveness
from the land.
He had had it all, as they say,
a family, land and a home.
A ‘hard man’
as hard as the rugged land.
No words of kindness dampened
the blows of his hand.
“Get it right the first time” was the legacy
he passed down
to his family, to his child.
So slowly they left
for gentler climes
where the sun did not shine so fierce
where the trees were not twisted and bent.
His wife was buried
by the creek that no longer flowed
the bed dry and cracked from the drought
it’s song stilled, waiting
for the cool of refreshing rain.
His son had moved to the coast
far away from father’s weathered frown
where the laughter of the waves
soothed remembered pain.
The relentless sun sank
extinguished by the night,
the chair stopped rocking
but the old man sat, still,
the pipe dropped from his hand
and the dry wood
smouldered
as his life passed
on the ghost of a breeze.
Author notes
Yay, a long poem contest!
A contest entry
- *I AM SICK OF LIMITED WRITING* FORTY LINES OR MORE!!!* by Tweedle Dee.
1330 points, ended January 15, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
quite good!
i love the notion of the hard man driving his children to the coast and waiting for the avalon on the red setting sun. this poem is profoundly true and in its' sorrow conveyed a sense of a generation. very well done. hell,i wish i wrote that.
good tidings,
ui'connabhair -
Daaaangg.
I really liked how you spoke about the real essence of his life, and the bittersweet point of view that he sits in as he dies. Kind of like. the land died with him. Which was great, so amazing concepts there mhmhmhm. I WISH YOU LUCK CAPTAIN! And keep writing you got goods!
--TweDum -
""He had had it all, as they say,
a family, land and a home.
A ‘hard man’
as hard as the rugged land.
No words of kindness dampened
the blows of his hand.""
Amazingly unforced line, and I loved how the rest of it was free verse but you could still catch the flow of the poem! Good job!
Very good story, so truthful for many families.
Liked it
*Peace* and goodluck in the contest.
Dee
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