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Loving Memory

It all felt so perfect
just you and me
this nice beautiful long beach
we always walked hand in hand together
showing off to everyone

just how much we loved each other
then it all went spiraling down one evening
you were not with me anymore
God had other plans for us this year

he took you to another place

where I hope to someday

see you again and hold you in my arms

so as I take this lonely walk into the sunset

I look back while casting thyself into the sea

never to walk amongst you all again!

Author notes

okay. yes this is about love gone wrong BUT it was also about how I lost the true love of my life to God as she passed away in her sleep peacefully.

when I saw the picture I instantly remembered the good times me and Chelsie had when we were together and happily engaged back in 2002 before her untimly death.

to the conmtest holder thank you for the aweosme picture and the contest good luck judging

If you got a suggestion for a better title to the poem please let me know in the comment(s)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't want
    to even try to imagine how painful it must be to
    lose the love of your life. You have written about it
    very well. I am left speechless from the emotion.

    ~Jeannie


  • Maedes
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    she knows that you love her alot
    but she also wants you to be happy in this current moment -
    so seek your new happiness to make her smile in heaven
    I think the title Loving Memory is perfect


  • Ryno
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think the title fits. I have seen it before, yes, but it "clicks" with this write - you know?

    I think that the emotion was really strong and heart wrenching here, through the story of the write, the readers could see the emotion affecting you greatly.

    I would suggest maybe working on your imagery - I think that you have the power to come up with powerful and creative images to portray the emotion that is always in your pieces. Thats something I would like to see in your next piece - I want to feel your emotion through images... make me see the story.

    I still loved the story here though Thanks for the entry, and again, sorry for your lose


  • countrybabe gold member
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Just Gorgeous

    Awww..... This is just gorgeous my dear sweet Hubby I loved every touching word of this piece. You are such a softy and that's what i love about you as a person. Well done and good luck in the contest if it isn't already judged.

    Keep writing and I'll keep reading

    Love Always
    Your Ap Wifey
    Countrybabe


  • poet2angels gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Paul

    My nephew,

    this is a beautiful and touching poem...I love it and I have noticed how you have grown as a poet lately..Thank you for sharing your heart and soul and your memories
    from your Aunt

    Lynda


  • poeticweaver gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Such a Sad Piece..

    So well crafted as you lay your heart upon the poetic pages here for all to feel your pain inside, as we wonder why... I lost my best-friend and cousin a few years back, and it still pains me when I long for her to go do some of the stuff just us two liked and enjoyed doing.. So, I sadly understand a bit..it hurts, but at the same time, even though she was only age 40, she lived a good life, and I know there's nothing that special here that beat the heavenly gates. Peace brother, and thanks for sharing here.

    Much love, Timothy aka your brother!


  • Butterfly.Wingz
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was really good hunnie so sad though great work i love your poetry it's always so filled with emotion and so deep keep writting you're so freaking talented!!!!!
    xoxxo
    Tasha


  • dark tigress
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow paul thats a wonderful write about chelsie may she rip i know u miss her alot but oneday u'll c her again. i will help u with ur darkness however i can hopefully with chelsie's help


  • i be buddha
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I loved it. It was excellently written. good luck in the contest


  • Evernight Prince
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey mate, it's a stirring piece and memory for certain. You really set the scene and it's a beautiful dedication. Hope you do well in the contest.


  • Candyknife gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    hmm

    this is a sad and the agony is subtle, as its stays soft even throughout even in the last line that really showed your greif
    great write, and good thing you let it all out, im sure it must make you feel a little better having an outlet instead of letting the pain go inward


  • Lonely
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woww. I totally love this piece, and Im really sorry to know about your loved ones loss.. I can relate a lot.. I love this piece and best of luck inthe contest dear friend

    Love,
    Lonely


  • kel dog
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sending shivers down my body. with the cold tear in my eyes.

    very very good write. hope you do wellin the contest.

1 - 13 of 13