I turn my eyes inside my head
snapping muscles that hold them down
like fragile, hopeful threads
I see
the world
for the very first time;
a sun covered in dust
and a broken sky,
maggots mingling hungry
on half-eaten memories
the land
covered in thoughts
trampled on by soldiers
crying, smiling, dreaming -
plucking pieces of me
off the ground,
loading cannons
with warfare all around
emotions burning
until my mind
is nothing but
a grave yard
I am victorious
but defeated
at the same time
A contest entry
- Earn your points... by crisstiena.
5000 points, ended December 26, 2008, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Madness put into perspective !
"I am victorious
but defeated
at the same time..."
The sad timeless story of the human race!
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I like it...
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Excellent
Such a terrific write. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest
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lol. how to be insane...dude, effin awesome title..love it!
and then the descriptions in this poem are just brillant! wonderful job...good luck and take care
Stephanie ♥
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Love it, Ryno, the images are superb, especially stanza 3, great stuff, good luck,
Floorboards.
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maggots mingling hungry
on half-eaten memories
why does this make me think of those worm like things you see when you close your eyes, interesting poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest -
so, I definitely thought you were going to talk about me in this piece.
haha.
wow, what a great take on this. I definitely didn't expect it to twist like that from the title. well done.
(*sighs* okay... back to studying
)
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whoa. that's creepy. just as I was thinking "I wonder if I should ask christina what she thinks of this" I refreshed and you had commented!!
your not online good luck studying
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because of synchro, I need to be refreshing my Hotmail more often so if you want to txt, I could do that. (I won't be as good as usual, but at least it'd be something)
ps. I sent you a story through txt a bit ago. you'll need to start from the 1st one I sent to fully get it. -
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oops.
i completely forgot my phone in my book bag.
kay, bargain -
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...does that mean that you don't have your phone at all (like you forgot it in your book bag at school)?
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no, my book bag is downstairs i just havent found it within me to get up yet XD
PS: it being downstairs shows how successful I was on my homework -
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*sighs* Ryan. that's not good.
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...next time, try partially forgetting your phone there.
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