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Russet Moon



The moon is my friend
it lights the way for me
and shows me where the
others are sleeping
weeping...

The white sand shifts
beneath my feet
as I crouch here
and watch them
as they huddle
around a fire

they don't see me
creeping
peeping...

one stirs and sits up
maybe he senses my
nearness and my
rapacity

I see his wild eyes
fluid with fear
reflecting the
glow of a dying
fire

and the cold quiet
of a russet moon


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • michichoeret
    December 25, 2008

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    wow

    great write
    great picturing

    but was surprised you are also into moons
    also a magician?

    would you be interested in a far away witch?

    just kidding..........

  • Hot Llama Love
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    John, this is really good. The only problem I have with it is that I was left wanting to know what happened. Really. You are a story teller as well as a poet.


  • just mercedes gold member
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good imagery, although the syntax is confusing.


  • badnovocaine
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey nice take on the prompt
    I liked where you took this, and how you began this piece made me want to read more. I loved this, every word.
    Beautiful.


  • Jersene gold member
    December 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful...love the image of the russet moon.


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    As the reader, I am again
    caught in your moment,
    crouching beside you,
    glad i am not there alone.

    M-C


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful Melancholy...

    You always amaze me with your wonderful work... I'd love to see a book of poetry penned by your awesome muse!!! I'd really like to hold it in my hands... someday, perhaps?!!? Wishing you the best in this contest!!! Peace always, xx Cyn xx


  • rbruce gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "The moon is my friend,it lights the way for me". All things are posssible in such an atmosphere. You have painted a sad picture, and done it well, with your words.
    I really enjoyed the read.


  • Dragonbabyx3
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful imagery! outstanding! I really enjoyed this piece, Thankyou for entering my contest, and Good Luck!


  • Cynewulf
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. The moon has always fascinated me. I can feel its tidal forces, that's either because I'm bipolar or a loony...I'm not quite sure (probably the latter).


  • charcoal
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    russet moon is such a beautiful title and image.

    the poem, to me, read like a quiet adventure i wonder who these people are...

    loved the internal rhyme and the mood that you set here is exquisite.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    .


  • Rheea gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, I looked at the crocodile below and got the idea and wrote one too =) you hang out with some weird people . Though I am sure they are very nice she looks nice the crockodile oh my.


  • Cant force beloved
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is nice. I especially like the ending.

    the cold quiet
    of a russet moon

    Oooh, really enthralling.

1 - 14 of 14