Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Peace of the mind

Peace is when you RELAX
and you mind in CONTEMPT
Peace it when you SATISFIED
and you have SPACE to think

Peace is KNOWING yourself
and what other people NEED
if we ALL had this
I'm sure there'd never be WAR

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Why did you enter if you didn't want honest critique? I had written that in the contest itself, I am sorry what I said was not what you wanted to hear.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Firstly I don't think you need the words in caps -

    Secondly, you are telling me everything and leaving nothing for me to see.

    I can understand your emotion but I do think the piece needs more imagery.