Swimming in darkness, shadows flicker,
The candlelight grows dimmer and dimmer,
The heat of the flame burns in my melting heart,
I try to see clearly, but I can't.
Ominous darkness haunts my ravaged eyes,
The last shimmer of gleaming light dies,
Trapped in a vortex of deepest black,
My mind is screaming, my soul is cracked.
Author notes
This is based on a person losing their sight. 
Please R&R; it's not polite to simply view it and not comment.
A contest entry
- Ages 14 and under: YOUR FAVORITE PREWRITE by Sky Prince Ireland.
800 points, ended December 15, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Was this really weird? Did you get the fact that the guy in the poem was losing his sight?
Comments
-
Thanks for entering this in my contest.
Good luck.
Brian -
Wow this is dark. Yes I could feel the emotion in this immediately. You certainly put your very heart into it. Thanks for sharing.
Brian
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