though ruby lips pierce together
onyx eyes reveal the truth
a weapon lay beside her sleeping
reaking of cheap vermouth
the battlefield of satin sheets
offers no place to run nor hide
this soldier
with no recourse -
retreats inside
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest 15 entries 40 words or less by mysticstorm.
650 points, ended December 14, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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So wonderfully penned. You have uncovered her angst without veering into sappy. Your description of him is compelling and really hits the mark. I like the way you leave the fullness of your statement implied. This is really well done... so glad I stopped by!
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This is deep and brilliantly written. A wonderful piece of poetry here. Loved this.
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Oh My~
Wowzers this is one Powerful piece You have penned and the images stun the Mind~
Love the words: rub lips pierce together
and
battlefield of satin sheets
Excellent!
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Nice! Love the imagery and metaphor, very creative and strongly felt...
well done!
Thank you for sharing,
mystic -
I just love the imagery and tone of this piece, Rosemarie, very thought provoking indeed, quite lyrical too,
well done!
Alex.
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This is a great poem you wrote! Best of luck in the contest!
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Great write, very outside the box....I love the offbeat feel to it
Best of luck in the contest
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Very random, but I liked it a lot! The words all come together at the end, especially if you read it again, and form a powerful jumble of feelings.
Well penned,
~lost
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