Go to the fiery depths of
The cracks
Baby, I'm your's
How many people swear its true?
Tasted sin and fell in pain
Deeper than the sea
Memories
I smoke it down
And all along I could never see
You never really wanted me
-Andi
Author notes
Ok, I did the whole thing!! Wow, yeah, that did take some time. I havent won any medals on this account, so I had to venture into one of my old accounts for that line.
Had fun with this though...very nice new style.
-Andi
A contest entry
- 10 Step Masterpeice ~*~ by Brooklynn Tainted.
625 points, ended January 4, 50 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
got comments??
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I liked it - short and to the point. In the first three lines you did some interesting things with unusual line stops. That makes the piece more exciting and unusual. What about experimenting in the same way at the last few lines, stopping them in odd places and assessing the effect
-
-
hey, the layout for this was for a specific contest...click on the contest this in and you'll see that the way it was wan't thought up by me!! I can't change it without breaking the rules...it came out better then I expected it would though, but it was just luck...it could have just as easily came out as random junk
-
-
Ooops! Guess I should have checked the rules. Sorry
-
-
hehe...its ok. Its not your normal type of poem layout, not something you would suspect...so I can't blame you
-
-
-
-
Aww wow i like the ending the best
Anyways thanks for entering and good luck, i loved it :]
-
-
So do i, hehe, I'm serious about that being one of my favorite line (and all along I could never see) but actually its my favorite part in my favorite verse. Its from But That was 9 Months Ago...And all along I could never see/that the dangerous stranger was really me
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
