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[ What will it solve to tell you "I love you"? ]

What will it solve to tell you "I love you"?
Those words are meaningless from me.
'cause my heart belongs to him.
But I'm begining to regret what I'm doing.

I'll only hurt you
I'll only bleed you dry
That's what I'm best at baby

& in the end we will not be the better, the wiser, calmer
So I'm deciding to take you

take you down
take you in
Be your everything until all you see is me and my light

But I will hurt you baby,
until you're bled dry

Author notes

Faeriedust9213

hope you enjoy

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • The.poet.of.hearts
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    : O
    Oye
    are you alright
    it was just SHOCKING

    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    This has some very sharp and strong emotions in this piece. I like it a great deal for it is how I feel about the relationship I had with the X fiance I didn't love him I do love someone else. Thank you for sharing.


  • nOva-
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    sharp

    Wow, strong emotions in this piece! I like how you twisted around the "take you" thing. This is one sharp poem. Very open and direct.

    Thanks for entering

    ~nOva


  • storiesuntold gold member
    December 13, 2008

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    Oh my goodness

    This write reminds me f a black widow spider for they eat their mates after sex hahahah This is a good write


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    December 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LIke oh my gosh I can completely relate and understand this write very strongly. its incredibly raw passionate and very deep the way you stroked this beauty of a poem. I mean talk about love gone wrong at its fienst it reminds me of my psycho ex I had a very nasty break up with and blahness. any ways a very well penned write and keep up the good work good luck in the contest

  • Still Gonna Shine
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this just...hits home.


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice and raw and direct and going for it ... i like this one a lot


  • Gypsys Soul
    December 9, 2008

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    wow this is so deep with emotion, so raw and honest , i really like this piece. i like the honesty in it,though it gives a torn feeling , great write , keep it up


  • insideinsanity
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mmm. Powerful.

    If you were to improve on it, I would make the capitals more continuous - at least in terms of starting a stanza with a capital letter. Otherwise, in the third stanza, you say 'the better, the wiser, calmer'. Perhaps add in 'the' before calmer, because it seems to read better, and it keeps the list constant. By jarring the reader out of the pattern at that last point, it makes it a little bit harder to dive back in.

    Powerful emotions, though; I love it.


  • LadyRay
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ah the Memories

    This is all too familiar, I know what you feel. i asked the same exact thing "What will it solve to tell you "I love you"?"
    Nice display of emotions, keep on writing

1 - 10 of 10