Three quarters past dawn...
All the shoppers, a-snore
All refunders, sleeping
The shops with locked doors,
Shelves stocked and ready, with trappings galore,
The extra help hired just to handle the horde.
Up up to the task with hot coffees in tow!
All rose for the work of the Boxing Day show.
"Boo hoo! It's the blues!" the sales girls were humming
"They're getting up now and those crowds are a-coming!
"They're just about ready, and oh what they'll do!
"Their eyes will pop open with jaws all askew
"They'll flatten us flat, as they're flooding on through!"
"That's a thing" frowned one girl,
"I've now come to fear!"
And she paused as she raised up one hand to her ear.
And she heard a small sound coming close in the snow,
Which started off low but continued to grow...
And the noise as it hummed
Oh it carried and carried
Heralding herds of the stampeding harried!
How could such a chorus,
Which seemed more than scary
Be jubilant, joyous and even sound merry!
And with but a minute or so left to go...
The salespeople quaked!
With a fright in their eyes!
As the ground shook and shaked,
While they thought of demise...
Everyone with a present
That one they despised,
Was bringing it back
Or exchanging its size..
The gift giving givers again, with their wit,
Hadn't stopped shoppers from coming one bit..
*****
And they stood with their feet numb-toed in the snow,
Stood grumbling and grumbling, until they heard go.
They brought back their ribbons,
They brought back their tags,
Brought back their packages, boxes and bags.
And they grumbled and grumbled, 'till their grumblers were sore.
They all had a thought that they'd had once before,
Christmas they thought, did indeed come from stores
And all of them wanted, just a little bit more.
Author notes
an old ...partial parody of the Grinch
figured t'was the season... lol
so thought I'd take it out for a humorous spin
critical suggestions are always welcome
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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YEY!!! Why can't gift givers ask what the recievers want to recieve? Surely it would be easier this way? John and I make lists for one another...cause I'd get it so wroong otherwise...
This is very Seuss like! Love it!! xxxx
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very fun
I think Seuss would have been amused.
My favorite lines are:
"They brought back their ribbons,
They brought back their tags,
Brought back their packages, boxes and bags.
And they grumbled and grumbled, 'till their grumblers were sore.
They all had a thought that they'd had once before,
Christmas they thought, did indeed come from stores"
But the kicker that made me really smile was the last line....just as it should be.
"And all of them wanted, just a little bit more."
I found though that "grumbled" was a bit of a mental tongue twister for me in its repetition. Unfortunately, I can't suggest a fix for it since it works well for the meaning and I can't think of a substitute.
All in all, total funsies! -
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Wow, hello!! Nice to hear from you I hope life has been treating you MOST well!
and thank you ... as always.
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Hi Liza, my 'commenting head' seems to have gone a little rusty... but this met it very well and gave me a laugh.
Am pleased to say that Christmas seemed far from stolen by the Grinch this year, or perhaps he just stole the unnecessary bits.
Happy New Year to you!
Sol
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Excellent! How I hate what Christmas has become of late. So, I try to shop early, before the madness is in full swing . . . but it starts before Halloween. It is a real case of "The Nightmare Became Christmas" and it seems more and more people's hearts are two sizes too small.
Garrison
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You confirmed my deepest suspicions; Christmas is all about the stores. Enjoyed this one glad you put it up. Clever and smart as usual.
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great work! you are excellent!
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*grins* ...
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oh, and how ironic is this ... i'm wearing Grinch boxers right now
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the irony does not escape me ......grin
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it's not a christmas story that i am over familiar with, but someobody bought beth the jim carrey version on video many years ago...
this is so sublte in the parodies, i forgot what i was reading and started to think of the political climate and the credit crunch and how bitter we're all becoming and the ever looming threat of world wide monetary depression...........
you, you missy are an astute and clever lass for throwing this one out again to us all.. it made my pre-christmasstuffingthedamnedchildintothedogturkeyday seem a little wrong...
thank you
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Now this is Christmas.
What a great parody, my first official giggle of the day. I don't do the boxing day madness myself. Worse comes to worse, I'll save and re-gift to someone who does the same.
I abhor crowds.
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lol, this is great...and well that sad truth
(also the reason why I don't leave my house Boxing Day)
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And it was the year commercialism sold Christmas for a buck and a half and we never got its full value ever again...lol Yeah I wonder what we teach our kids about Christmas...how much the new X-Box will cost us or how Jesus rocked even without a video game and soldiers weren't 3D visuals, they were real and wore red robes.
Guess a kid's reply would be..oh but that's old news
C
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this is great, i love your approach to the holidays
sad reality, the walmart were that poor guy was killed was the one in the town i grew up in, the raise some serious shoppers over there...lol
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"They all had a thought that they'd had once before,
Christmas they thought, did indeed come from stores
And all of them wanted, just a little bit more."
You are the Grinch! Oops, someone will reply to this saying that I just don't understand you, and hint that I need to become informed culturally as to your talent. Cool!
But those lines...you, tongue in cheek, pass us all this nice little poison pill, wrapped as a gift of course...we have no idea about the real meaning of Christmas...and worse, very little understanding as to anything of value...we've lost all true meanings, caught in our modern word of "I want it all and I want it now!"
Pffft, me not understand you! The thought!
Precious wouldn't be the word here...'a light satirical delight'...that sounds clunky but it fits.
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Moi? The Grinch? never
.. I always identified with Max ( the dog ) lol... Have I mentioned Seuss was an early inspiration? I used to drive my mother mad by walking around reciting the Cat in the Hat, and Sam I am.... oh and of course, fell in love with the Grinch.. at a very early age..
He knew we had then, Seuss I mean, and nothing much has changed it seems
I'll take the light delight.. gladly...
and thank you
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And Seuss scared me! In my ancient days, you bought Seuss books by mail and well, my parents were late making payments and so the company sent threatening letters which, if it didn't scar my psyche, has caused me to dislike Seuss with a passion highly abnormal. I have spent more time than I will admit railing upon Seussian greed, lol.
Yes I know, I need help, but writing is my Therapy.
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You are! the Anti-Seuss.... lol
Oh please never get help .. it wouldn't be the same.....
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Do you drink Moxie in a boat?
do you drink it in a float?
Yes I drink it in a boat
Yes I drink it in a float
Are you tossing me down a well
deep, deep down to the gates of Hell?
Yes, I'm tossing you down a well
Go, go Theo Geisel, burn in Hell!
See, and I really started this with an innocent motive...sadly I want to post this as a poem.
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You should .. lol dare ya.
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That isn't a dare...that is encouragement for someone lame like me.
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I find it ironic I just mentioned trampling, lol.
I have always loved your way with rhyme, and I think you may be one of few who uses alliteration in the way that I love it
I have missed your wit.
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thanks I don't put much of my old rhyme up anymore but this one.. lol seems to fit the festive thing
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This is beyond great. It's perfect. I just actually watched the Grinch a couple of days ago lol.
You did really well with penning this and making it fit todays society.
Thanks for the laugh.
It actually also made me think of the walmart worker that got trampled on during black friday.
Hugs,
Kari
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apple juice
guess that's what cynic people get for christmas
and maybe because they don't make any effort of wanting something new
same old remixes, remakes and covers
young, restless and same old shit
doubt to rip and to sow ever meant clonning
anyways
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I doubt it did too..
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